Posts Tagged ‘useless people’

Paging Dr Useless, Dr Useless to Reception

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

Yesterday, I decided, having been back in the country three months now, I should register with a doctor. I don’t really get sick and I actually kind of hate doctors, but on the off chance that my lungs fall out or something, I figured I should be on the books somewhere.

I thought, I’ll call, they’ll take a few details over the phone and make an appointment for me. Well, you already know that was wishful thinking. I was greeted with a pre-recorded message and several menu options.

Explain to me the need for menu options. I’m calling a doctors office, not the White House. ‘Press 1 for Prescriptions, Press 2 for Appointments, Press 3 for Emergencies, Press 4 for Home Visits…’ It went on, for a total of 7 menu options. By the time it’d finished, I’d forgotten what I was calling for in the first place. There was one possibly fatal flaw though with this particular menu; why the hell was ‘emergencies’ number three on the list? If it’s an emergency, the last thing I want to do is fanny about trying to navigate your ridiculous menu options. Emergency, by it’s very nature, one would think, would surely clinch the top spot in a telephone menu!

What I find even more amusing about their menu optioned phone system, is I don’t care what doctor’s office you go to in the world, there’s always a maximum of two miserable bitches working reception. You mean to tell me, between them, they couldn’t just answer the phone and ask you what you want? Bitch please!

So I press any random button and get through to a very unenthusiastic woman who then tells me I have to actually physically go to the surgery, fill in some forms and then they’ll give me an appointment. I wish I’d pressed the emergency button to see if this process would be any quicker.

I was already pissed that I was forced to actually pick up a phone and call these people. Why is there no ‘registration’ button available on their website. Jesus, what decade is it? I have to pick up the phone, then go in there and fill out paper forms using, like, ink and stuff?

Maybe I should wait until my lungs are actually falling out – perhaps then the process will be a little quicker.

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