Thursday, July 16th, 2009
Ladies, we need to start dressing for men again. Yes, you heard me! We’ve gotten so caught up in the new found freedom of loose, flowy clothes that we forgot that the fellas might miss having something pretty to look at.
Oh and save all your feminist ‘we’ve come too far, we should be able to dress how we want’ nonsense. If you’re a straight woman, you want the attention of men. Admit it and get over yourself.
And frankly, if you’re still wearing baby doll dresses, empire line dresses and loose tops with leggings and wondering why men aren’t looking at you twice, you need to step your game up (and praise the baby Jesus that you came across my blog).
Men are simple creatures. You know what they like? Tits and ass, that’s what. And for the last few years, women’s fashion has been doing it’s darndest to cover these things up. Form fitting clothes have fallen by the wayside. Why? Because we’re getting fatter. God knows we all rejoiced a little when loose, flowing tops first came in and we could hide our multitude of sins. But if you know how to dress yourself, you can still accentuate your figure and strike up a happy medium somewhere between dressing like a stripper and donning a burka.
Men just don’t understand certain ladies fashion fads. Take these for example:
You think men understand this shit? I barely understand it. I don’t care if they were on the catwalks in Milan, these pants are ridiculous. They pretty much only make sense if it’s 1992 you have an army of backing dancers wearing the same thing. But it ain’t Hammer Time no more bitches. Men look at this and, rightfully so, think you’re a douchebag. Don’t just blindly follow fashion because this is supposedly a trend. Men don’t want to have to go on a military mission to find your ass. Where is your ass in those pants, I ask you?!
But there has to be a balance. If it was up to men, we would all dress like this all the time:
Skirts should be short enough to show off enough leg, dress should be tight enough to accentuate both tits and ass and heels should be worn at all times (regardless of whether or not to choose to throw clothes on with them). I hate to burst the bubble fellas, but it just isn’t practical. I mean, I, of course, dress like this on a daily basis (call me), but for most women, they may not be down with dressing like they’re dancing for dollars every day.
So ladies, it’s time to regroup. Find a happy medium. Tighten some things up. Really look at yourself, figure out what your assets are and don’t be scared to show them off (but remember to keep it classy and leave something to the imagination).
And fellas, you need to fix up too. For too many years we’ve been proud of you for just managing to put clean socks on. Time to step your game up.
Tags: bad fashion, clothes, trends
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