Posts Tagged ‘tiger woods’

Mo’ (Ali)Money, Mo’ Problems

Monday, July 5th, 2010

Now that the dust has settled on the Tiger Woods saga (and as dust goes, it was quite the sand storm), talk has turned to the divorce settlement. Obviously, when you marry the richest athlete alive, it goes without saying that you’ll be in for a bit of a windfall, but recent reports have stated that Tiger’s soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin, could stand to get $750 million. How are these numbers decided upon and are they fair?

After the initial figure of $750 million was released, it emerged a few days later that it would actually be more like $100 million. Poor Elin – how on earth is she expected to keep her head above water on a mere hundred mil?! But be it $750 or just $100, when you’re talking millions, these are numbers that most of us will never have to get our heads around. I find it hard to relate to most people who don’t have the ‘rent or food’ dilemma to contend with at the end of the month.

As such, it’s hard to have sympathy for either party. There’ll be enough money for Elin to buy all the shoes she wants and Tiger will still have enough left over to get a stable of hoes (I think the plural of ‘ho’ has an ‘es’, but one can never be sure).

Tiger’s kids are surely used to the best and just because he decided to make some epically bad decisions, doesn’t mean that they should have to settle for less. I can understand keeping them in the life they’re accustomed to. And even Elin – I’m sure she came into this thinking her life would be a certain way til the end of days. From what we know, it was Tiger’s various indiscretions that threw a spanner in the works, so he should have to compensate her for that.

However, that being said, I don’t know what Elin does for a living, but like most women after a divorce, I think it’s advisable that she get up, get out and do something. She seems like a relatively together woman – I’m sure she can go out to work. She shouldn’t be sitting back waiting for a bunch of Tiger money to cushion her future existence. And if I were her, I think I’d be somewhat uncomfortable with that. How do you move on if you know your whole life is essentially funded by your scuzzbucket ex?

But what I do think is a major consideration here is the level of humiliation Elin went through. This wasn’t just any regular cheating scandal. It just kept unfolding, in a very public forum. With the recent revelation that Tiger possible has some other kids floating around as a result of his wandering dick syndrome, it seems to just continue. Elin seems like a very private person and it must be beyond mortifying to have these sort of details poured over by the press. For that alone, she deserves a huge chunk of change.

Reports have said Tiger’s willing to throw whatever money at the situation as long as Elin agrees to never speak to any media outlets. I’m sure she’s hardly in a rush to pour her heart out to Oprah about how humiliating it was to find out your husband was screwing 5000 $2 skanks.

Tiger is living proof that money can’t buy you sense.

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Posted in relationships | 10 Comments »

Stay or Go?

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

It’s the age old question: do you stay with a cheating spouse? From women burning their bras to Beyonce flicking her weave about and singing ‘Independent Ladies’, it’s been drilled into us that we shouldn’t tolerate such nonsense from men. But is it right to just get up and go?

The whole thing with a marriage is the ’til death do us part, for richer for poorer’ stuff. It’s supposed to mean something. I’m not married, but I would take those things to mean you stick it out through the tough stuff. People are so quick to run and get a divorce without even trying to work things out.

Whether or not you choose to do that of course, depends on the state of the marriage beforehand and the level of the betrayal. Tiger Woods wife, for example, having recently discovered her hubby has slept with the female population of at least four States, I imagine may have some difficulty with the whole ‘forgive and forget’ process, especially since she had to endure such humiliation in a public forum. But if your husband just slept with Sally down the street, is that forgivable?

Is it worse if it’s a one night stand or ongoing affair? A purely sexual relationship or an online, emotional one? Would it hurt more if he slept with multiple random women from a bar, or prostitutes? When it comes to this issue, where is the line that says ‘this behaviour is understandable/acceptable/forgivable up to this point?’

I should point out, I have no answers! Brutal honesty moment: I have been the woman men have cheated with twice. Unknowingly, I might add. I have this crazy idea that if a man chats me up, pursues me and gets into a relationship with me, that he’s single while he’s doing it. Apparently, that’s not always the case. Anyhoo, when I found out and ended it, a male friend of mine came to me with this perspective: look at all he went through to be with you. He risked his relationship of how ever many years to spend time with you, knowing it could all end. I think his point was that sometimes a guy can genuinely like two women, want to be with both and not want to hurt either party.

What if Mormons and polygamists have got it right? Should men be able to marry multiple women? Screw that, should women be able to do the same with men?! And would making that legal eliminate the problem? Since part of the attraction of cheating is the thrill of deceit and knowing you got away with it (or so I’m told), if you eliminate that aspect and lay it all out there – would it happen as much?

For my male readers, yes, certainly women do cheat too, but not as much as men. There’s a whole generation of men for whom cheating seems to have become a rite of passage. So much so that the shock factor of finding out someone cheated is hardly even there anymore.

So where do you stand? Would you stay or would you go?

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Posted in relationships | 27 Comments »

Tiger Gets Wild

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

So, Tiger Woods has been getting a whole lot of ass. Are you surprised? I am. And not for the usual ‘I can’t believe a guy in a high profile position would take such a liberty and cheat on his nice wife’ type of reason. Mainly because the guy is about as exciting as toe nail clippings. I’m having a hard time getting my head around the fact that he managed to a) get married in the first place and b) actually have the conversational skills to be able to talk another woman into the sack.

Predictably, as is usually the case in these high profile cheating scandals, everyone is coming down on Tiger and passing moral judgement. His name is ‘Tiger’ for God’s sake. And his last name is WOODS! The man was pretty much born to cheat. But his wife tried to beat what little remaining personality he has out of him with a golf club – rest assured, he’s suffering at home.

What isn’t being talked about really is these women he slept with. Oh sure there’ve been discussions about how they all seem to fit a certain mould (white, work in the hospitality industry. Ladies, take note; never let your man eat at a restaurant alone. These heifers will be exchanging numbers by the time he gets to the entree). But no one’s talking about how low down and dirty they are.

This isn’t one of these scenarios where the woman had no idea he was married. It’s not like she was all ‘Tiger Woods, you say? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.’ Bitch please! And this is what I don’t get about women who happily play the mistress. Sure, you may not know his wife, but where is your respect for her, just on a basic human level, as another woman? You’d be pissed if another woman took up with your husband, knowing he was married. So, how and why are some women OK with that behaviour?

‘He’s Tiger Woods,’ people are saying. ‘They were attracted to his money and fame.’ Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It’s not like they’re attracted to his personality. This is a man who looks like he colour-codes his sock drawer. I can’t imagine he’d be all that thrilling in the bedroom. One of his mistresses is complaining that he didn’t even buy her dinner. Who in the name of an 18-hole golf course sleeps with a man who doesn’t buy you dinner first?! And she’s complaining about it, why? It basically shows how much of a whore she is that it didn’t even take so much as a Chicken McNugget to charm the pants off her.

People are saying Tiger better have a good pre-nup. Why? His wife won’t leave him. She has too much to lose. And even if she does, Tiger will lose half his fortune. Even with that, I doubt we’ll be seeing him on the bread line at a Salvation Army near you anytime soon.

They’ll get counselling and Tiger will promise to be a good boy. He’ll stick with his wife to try to maintain/restore his squeaky clean image. His wife has his nuts in a vice as you read this and she tightens it every few minutes.

Stay tuned: which high profile celebrity will be the next to fall victim to some skanky waitress’s charms?

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Posted in relationships | 45 Comments »