Posts Tagged ‘scandals’

Tiger Gets Wild

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

So, Tiger Woods has been getting a whole lot of ass. Are you surprised? I am. And not for the usual ‘I can’t believe a guy in a high profile position would take such a liberty and cheat on his nice wife’ type of reason. Mainly because the guy is about as exciting as toe nail clippings. I’m having a hard time getting my head around the fact that he managed to a) get married in the first place and b) actually have the conversational skills to be able to talk another woman into the sack.

Predictably, as is usually the case in these high profile cheating scandals, everyone is coming down on Tiger and passing moral judgement. His name is ‘Tiger’ for God’s sake. And his last name is WOODS! The man was pretty much born to cheat. But his wife tried to beat what little remaining personality he has out of him with a golf club – rest assured, he’s suffering at home.

What isn’t being talked about really is these women he slept with. Oh sure there’ve been discussions about how they all seem to fit a certain mould (white, work in the hospitality industry. Ladies, take note; never let your man eat at a restaurant alone. These heifers will be exchanging numbers by the time he gets to the entree). But no one’s talking about how low down and dirty they are.

This isn’t one of these scenarios where the woman had no idea he was married. It’s not like she was all ‘Tiger Woods, you say? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.’ Bitch please! And this is what I don’t get about women who happily play the mistress. Sure, you may not know his wife, but where is your respect for her, just on a basic human level, as another woman? You’d be pissed if another woman took up with your husband, knowing he was married. So, how and why are some women OK with that behaviour?

‘He’s Tiger Woods,’ people are saying. ‘They were attracted to his money and fame.’ Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It’s not like they’re attracted to his personality. This is a man who looks like he colour-codes his sock drawer. I can’t imagine he’d be all that thrilling in the bedroom. One of his mistresses is complaining that he didn’t even buy her dinner. Who in the name of an 18-hole golf course sleeps with a man who doesn’t buy you dinner first?! And she’s complaining about it, why? It basically shows how much of a whore she is that it didn’t even take so much as a Chicken McNugget to charm the pants off her.

People are saying Tiger better have a good pre-nup. Why? His wife won’t leave him. She has too much to lose. And even if she does, Tiger will lose half his fortune. Even with that, I doubt we’ll be seeing him on the bread line at a Salvation Army near you anytime soon.

They’ll get counselling and Tiger will promise to be a good boy. He’ll stick with his wife to try to maintain/restore his squeaky clean image. His wife has his nuts in a vice as you read this and she tightens it every few minutes.

Stay tuned: which high profile celebrity will be the next to fall victim to some skanky waitress’s charms?

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