Subscribe in a reader
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
Public transport sucks. That is a known fact. No one wakes up in the morning saying ‘I can’t wait to take the bus today!’ To make transportation among the masses a little less sucky and somewhat bearable, there are certain rules one should abide by.
Anything that should be done in your bathroom at home, don’t do it on the bus or train
I’ve seen it all my friends, from someone flossing her teeth on the subway in Toronto, to a guy putting his contacts in on a packed commuter train in Tokyo. That’s what your bathroom is for. No one needs to see bits of food on a string emerging from your mouth at 8am.
Have your money ready
You can always tell the people who don’t take public transport that often from this scenario. It’s always the dude for whom the train is a fun adventure for the day, who has to fanny around at the ticket machine for half an hour. Listen, for those of us who have to rely on getting from A to B in these giant moving sweatboxes, our lives suck enough as it is. We don’t have time to wait for you to find the correct change for your metro card. It’s all we can do to even get out of bed in the morning.
Don’t talk on your phone
There’s something about public transport that makes people think their phones are just tin cans and string. Any conversation is conducted at unusually loud decibels. No one gives a rat’s ass what you’re saying, probably not even the person on the other end of the phone. Save the conversation for when you’re out in the street and your pointless banter can be drowned out by street noise like buildings collapsing, or people killing each other.
Don’t read the newspaper over someone’s shoulder
What the hell is wrong with you? You don’t even have to buy a paper anymore, there’s a plethora of free crap at any given station. So I don’t care if you have to read a take away menu or a Nation of Islam leaflet, you just better not be breathing down someone’s neck asking them to turn to the sports page.
Don’t stare
Do you want to die? Well, you’re going the right way about it. Buses and trains are close quarters. Between being crammed in like a sardine, holding your breath to avoid the stench of BO and blocking your ears to drown out the death metal coming from someone’s iPod, the last thing anyone needs is the stare down. I don’t care if you’re just admiring her outfit. That’s what the Craigslist ‘Missed Connections’ section is for (alright, that’s totally not what it’s for, but do I sound like I give a shit?). Eyes down, look in, like it’s Bingo in this bitch.
Tags: public transport, rants
Posted in travel | 11 Comments »
Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008
I hate it when people go on strike. Actually, I hate the threat of a strike. It’s basically just blackmail, which I thought was illegal or something.
It’s so childishly ridiculous. At what point in life does striking become the appropriate response to a problem? When you’re a kid and you ask your parents for more pocket money, they tell you to shut the fuck up and go to your room. That’s what should happen to people who threaten to strike (unless of course, you’re those divas in the picture above, in which case, I say, rock on sisters, rock on).
Last week the public transportation workers in Toronto (the TTC), were threatening to strike. Those buggers are ridiculously overpaid as it is. I don’t know how much they think they deserve for twiddling a few knobs to drive the train (I’m pretty sure ‘twiddling knobs’ is the technical term), but apparently the $30 an hour (or something ridiculous like that) isn’t enough. So, like really mature professional people do, they threw their teddies out of their prams and stomped around having tantrums. Because they’re not getting what they want, the million plus people who use the system every day should have to suffer. Luckily, someone bitch slapped some sense into them last minute and they didn’t go through with it. Bloody good thing too – I would not have enjoyed that multi-mile hike to work (in heels bitches!).
Then there’s news from Blighty this week that teachers are threatening to strike. For Christ’s sake – one look at that bit of hate mail I got last week and it’s clear to see that the British educational system can’t afford any time off. Plus, these discussions about whether or not to strike are taking place during a holuday, so it may turn out that the first day back at school, everyone gets sent home. I’m sure parents are thrilled about that. They’ve been waiting for two weeks to pry those buggers off their Playstations and get them back to class, now having to actually put up with them at home some more is probably sending them over the edge.
So for the sake of parents’ sanity and public transit users feet – people who work in those kind of jobs should really find a more reasonable way to deal with their issues, learn the dance of give and take, come together as one and unite or, you know, just shut the fuck up and go to their rooms.
Tags: pathetic people who think the world owes them shit, public transport, the brits, the ttc
Posted in life | 6 Comments »