Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
I came across a few Pick Up Artist websites a couple of years ago and became morbidly fascinated by them. I felt like I’d stumbled across a secret society of douchebags and I just couldn’t look away. For the unfamiliar, Pick Up Artists (PUAs) are men who believe they have cracked the woman code and can pick any of us up in any social situation. The lure of these men is so powerful, our knickers just fly off, apparently.
‘The Game’ by Neil Strauss is a book dedicated to the subject. Strauss was named the World’s Best PUA (or some such ridiculous and insignificant title) many times over. This book is filled with geeky men, who had no luck with women, were virgins into their mid-twenties and became part of the PUA community to put a stop to all that. People like Neil Strauss hold seminars, charging thousands of dollars to feed these poor saps the secrets to the Kingdom.
Like most women who read this book, I’m flicking through it saying ‘this would never work on me.’ When they first approach you the point is to seem as if they’re not interested in you at all; ignoring you while they talk to others in your group, insulting you with a not-so-subtle back handed compliment (AKA a ‘neg’) – you know, all the things boys did to show they liked a girl when they were in primary school? Yeah they do that. When they’ve demonstrated their value to your friends, they’ll work on you with one of their (highly choreographed) routines. PUAs are encouraged to learn magic tricks, palm reading and other such douchebaggery. I can safely say, if a guy tried that on me, I would jump out the nearest window. (Oh and me showing my disinterest would be me throwing up my ‘Bitch Shield’ in PUA terminology. Yes, they have their own terminology. Bless them!)
I can see however, that some of the routines they mention in the book would absolutely work on the right girl. (It should be pointed out that most of the ‘picking up’ in the book takes place in night clubs in LA, filled with half drunk dumb blondes or strippers – hardly difficult targets). A guy I knew in Toronto had tried to run The Game on me. He would ‘neg’ me all the time, constantly do reverse psychology on me, acted as if he knew much more about me than he did – all of which just made me think he was a douchebag.
I’m not against The Game, but the goal seems to be numbers. Once these men learn how to approach women and start to gain some success with it, it takes over their lives. One of the guys in the book was a promising law student. All that went down the crapper when he got involved in the PUA community. His life became the pursuit of women. That’s a little sad. I’m not saying they should all be pursuing long term relationships, but there reaches a point (and it’s very early on in their PUA ‘careers’ it must be said) where women aren’t even women anymore. We’re just targets. We’re just there to be conquered. Once we have been, it’s on to the next one.
It’s all about ego. Nothing more. Nothing less.
The PUAs on websites are more seasoned. The thrill for them doesn’t come from ‘the chase’ so much as completely degrading women altogether. On these sites, women are nothing more than skanks. If we reject them, we’re feminist lesbians, if we give in to their ‘charms’ they’ve proved their point that we’re all whores who are begging for it. We can’t win. Judging by the comments sections on some of these blogs, it’s pointless arguing with these nimrods. Clearly, they were hurt by an ex-girlfriend and have made it their life’s mission to shit on womankind for the rest of time.
The very fact that the art of picking women up is called ‘The Game’ speaks volumes. There are always going to be winners and losers. I’d say if you had to learn how to play, you lost already.
Tags: douchebags, male/female relations, PUAs
Posted in relationships | 18 Comments »