Posts Tagged ‘music’

Hip Hop a Hippy to the Hippy the Hip Hip Hop and Ya Don't Stop

Sunday, December 7th, 2008

 

Friday night, I went to see Q Tip in concert. Two points: a) if you haven’t got his new album, The Renaissance, go get it and b) if you’ve never seen him live, go do it. 

 

It was, quite simply, the best show I’ve ever been to. And I’ve been to some pretty damn good shows. 
One thing that never fails to irk me at hip hop shows though, is the insistence upon the crowd to make some noise.
When the first support act came on, that’s apparently, all they wanted us to do. After each song (and occasionally in the middle of a song) they would tell us to ‘make some motherfuckin’ noise’. I’m not sure how one goes about making ‘motherfuckin’ noise’. I’m not entirely sure what would constitute ‘motherfuckin’ noise’ to be honest with you and I’m not sure I want to know. They also requested that we make ‘Goddamn noise’ a few times. Is that different from ‘motherfuckin’ noise’? And if so, how? 
Honestly, if I knew what it was, I would try and make it for you. I can do a mean round of applause. Sometimes, if I’m really impressed, I’ll even lift my hands above my head while clapping. I can clap in time to the beat, which, as we all know, is a major accomplishment for a white person. I can do a ‘woo’ every now and then and on occasion, I have been known to bust out a prolonged ‘WOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!’ But ‘motherfuckin’ noise’? I’m not sure I can muster that up for you. Would it involve me learning how to do the fingers-in-mouth-whistle? Because that is notoriously hard for a girl. 
Anyway, when the next support act, The Cool Kids, came on, they just required us to ‘make some noise’. It didn’t have to be ‘motherfuckin” or ‘Goddamn’ noise, just ‘some’ noise, was sufficient. I appreciated them not putting too many demands on me as a spectator. 
When Q Tip came out, he didn’t ask for a thing, he just got on with it. Performed his ass off. And I danced and danced. And about half way into his performance, when the opening bars of ‘Check the Rhime’ played, I officially lost my shit. And I believe at that point, I made a whole lot of ‘motherfuckin” and ‘Goddamn’ noise. 

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Posted in life | 2 Comments »

Party at Mine Tonight, I'll Bring the Taser

Monday, March 3rd, 2008


Gone are the days of having a ‘ladies night’ at your friend’s house, where some woman comes over to sell you frilly knickers and dildos. Forget having a prim and proper gathering with the Avon lady. The latest exercise in female bonding is the taser party.

 

Self defense is now sexy. Who wants to sweat it out for hours at Krav Maga when you can just tase the crap out of somebody?

 

Coming in a variety of styles, from fuchsia pink to leopard print, you can coordinate your weapon of choice with your outfit. Marketing genius, I think we’ll all agree. It’s so lame, I would say ‘someone shoot me now’, but I don’t want to risk some prissy bitch with a plaid print taser gun stepping out of the shadows and taking me up on it.

 

I’m not sure I fully understand the logic behind the taser party. How do you test the merchandise? Does some poor bugger have to volunteer to be tased? Talk about pulling the short straw.

 

I’m a lover, not a fighter, so excuse my ignorance, but are tasers even legal?

 

The customized taser just scratches the surface of weapons aimed at women. Don’t even get me started on the Hello Kitty rifle. And there was me thinking we were the fairer sex. Oh well. Tase on, if you must, sisters. Tase on.

 

And the world, as we know it, is forever changed


Sometimes it’s hard not to get depressed when you consider that George W Bush has actually been in power for eight whole years, global warming, the Israel-Palestine conflict, Iran’s nuclear weapons, genocide in Darfur, AIDS all over Africa, wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. But the news this week that Crocs has seen a 161% increase in profits, to $168m, is proof that the world, is well and truly, on its ass.

 

American Boy


Stop whatever you are doing immediately and report to the dance floor! This new single, by my girl Estelle, is gonna be huge. Estelle has been around for a long time, working her way up that ladder and is finally getting her dues. She’s the first artist on John Legend’s label, Home School and she thoroughly deserves every ounce of success that’s coming to her. If you don’t know, get to know, because this London girl is about to get very big talking about her American Boy.

Warning: It is impossible to get this song out of your head!

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Posted in fashion | 5 Comments »