Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

Mo’ (Ali)Money, Mo’ Problems

Monday, July 5th, 2010

Now that the dust has settled on the Tiger Woods saga (and as dust goes, it was quite the sand storm), talk has turned to the divorce settlement. Obviously, when you marry the richest athlete alive, it goes without saying that you’ll be in for a bit of a windfall, but recent reports have stated that Tiger’s soon-to-be-ex wife, Elin, could stand to get $750 million. How are these numbers decided upon and are they fair?

After the initial figure of $750 million was released, it emerged a few days later that it would actually be more like $100 million. Poor Elin – how on earth is she expected to keep her head above water on a mere hundred mil?! But be it $750 or just $100, when you’re talking millions, these are numbers that most of us will never have to get our heads around. I find it hard to relate to most people who don’t have the ‘rent or food’ dilemma to contend with at the end of the month.

As such, it’s hard to have sympathy for either party. There’ll be enough money for Elin to buy all the shoes she wants and Tiger will still have enough left over to get a stable of hoes (I think the plural of ‘ho’ has an ‘es’, but one can never be sure).

Tiger’s kids are surely used to the best and just because he decided to make some epically bad decisions, doesn’t mean that they should have to settle for less. I can understand keeping them in the life they’re accustomed to. And even Elin – I’m sure she came into this thinking her life would be a certain way til the end of days. From what we know, it was Tiger’s various indiscretions that threw a spanner in the works, so he should have to compensate her for that.

However, that being said, I don’t know what Elin does for a living, but like most women after a divorce, I think it’s advisable that she get up, get out and do something. She seems like a relatively together woman – I’m sure she can go out to work. She shouldn’t be sitting back waiting for a bunch of Tiger money to cushion her future existence. And if I were her, I think I’d be somewhat uncomfortable with that. How do you move on if you know your whole life is essentially funded by your scuzzbucket ex?

But what I do think is a major consideration here is the level of humiliation Elin went through. This wasn’t just any regular cheating scandal. It just kept unfolding, in a very public forum. With the recent revelation that Tiger possible has some other kids floating around as a result of his wandering dick syndrome, it seems to just continue. Elin seems like a very private person and it must be beyond mortifying to have these sort of details poured over by the press. For that alone, she deserves a huge chunk of change.

Reports have said Tiger’s willing to throw whatever money at the situation as long as Elin agrees to never speak to any media outlets. I’m sure she’s hardly in a rush to pour her heart out to Oprah about how humiliating it was to find out your husband was screwing 5000 $2 skanks.

Tiger is living proof that money can’t buy you sense.

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Posted in relationships | 10 Comments »

Would You?

Monday, March 8th, 2010

A gay man, who’s still in a relationship with a fella, proposes to a woman and she says yes, knowing the situation. Crazy or genius? You decide.

The gorgeous and talented cupcake connoisseur Darius Williams, discussed this dilemma on his Facebook last week and it got me thinking. Naturally, our first response is to think the woman involved is a sandwich short of a picnic, but let’s take a step back and look at all the angles.

Firstly, we have to consider why the gay man who proposed would do that in the first place. Sure there are benefits to being married, but surely they increase when you’re married to someone you actually want to be with. So, is she a back up plan? Are they very good friends who want to have children? If that’s the case, they could still have a child without getting married, but perhaps they’re traditionalists *ahem*.

How does the gay lover feel about all this? Does he know the woman? Does he like her? Will they all be in it together? Will anyone be getting down and dirty with the woman?

The woman is aware of the situation, so therefore must be comfortable with it to even entertain the idea, let alone go through with it. If that’s the case, fine. But if she’s going into it thinking she can convert him, someone needs to rush in there and bitch slap some sense into her. There’s levels of probability and then there’s ‘never gonna happen.’

But I’m not gonna jump on this woman and say she’s crazy. And I won’t fault the man because he’s being upfront about his sexuality and his situation. Sure, this is unconventional and wouldn’t work for everybody, but who are we to judge it? I’m not totally against it. We don’t know how old these people are. Perhaps, the man and woman are old friends, who are attracted to each other (obviously, not enough to make sweet jungle lovin’), enjoy each other’s company, want to grow old together, as companions and are using a marriage to show their commitment to that.

Within any marriage, be it between a straight woman and a gay man or not, friendship has to be the foundation. And at some point, the sex is going to dwindle anyway, so aren’t we all essentially going to be in the same boat? Look at elderly couples who’ve been together 60 years – their marriages consist of making each other tea, playing bridge and reading the paper. You don’t both need to be straight to enjoy doing that!

With my love of musicals, shoes and all things gay, I’ve pretty much just always assumed there’s a marriage to a gay man in my future. I mean, I’m still holding out for a straight but you know, it’s best to keep your options open and all that.

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Posted in relationships | 14 Comments »

Stay or Go?

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

It’s the age old question: do you stay with a cheating spouse? From women burning their bras to Beyonce flicking her weave about and singing ‘Independent Ladies’, it’s been drilled into us that we shouldn’t tolerate such nonsense from men. But is it right to just get up and go?

The whole thing with a marriage is the ’til death do us part, for richer for poorer’ stuff. It’s supposed to mean something. I’m not married, but I would take those things to mean you stick it out through the tough stuff. People are so quick to run and get a divorce without even trying to work things out.

Whether or not you choose to do that of course, depends on the state of the marriage beforehand and the level of the betrayal. Tiger Woods wife, for example, having recently discovered her hubby has slept with the female population of at least four States, I imagine may have some difficulty with the whole ‘forgive and forget’ process, especially since she had to endure such humiliation in a public forum. But if your husband just slept with Sally down the street, is that forgivable?

Is it worse if it’s a one night stand or ongoing affair? A purely sexual relationship or an online, emotional one? Would it hurt more if he slept with multiple random women from a bar, or prostitutes? When it comes to this issue, where is the line that says ‘this behaviour is understandable/acceptable/forgivable up to this point?’

I should point out, I have no answers! Brutal honesty moment: I have been the woman men have cheated with twice. Unknowingly, I might add. I have this crazy idea that if a man chats me up, pursues me and gets into a relationship with me, that he’s single while he’s doing it. Apparently, that’s not always the case. Anyhoo, when I found out and ended it, a male friend of mine came to me with this perspective: look at all he went through to be with you. He risked his relationship of how ever many years to spend time with you, knowing it could all end. I think his point was that sometimes a guy can genuinely like two women, want to be with both and not want to hurt either party.

What if Mormons and polygamists have got it right? Should men be able to marry multiple women? Screw that, should women be able to do the same with men?! And would making that legal eliminate the problem? Since part of the attraction of cheating is the thrill of deceit and knowing you got away with it (or so I’m told), if you eliminate that aspect and lay it all out there – would it happen as much?

For my male readers, yes, certainly women do cheat too, but not as much as men. There’s a whole generation of men for whom cheating seems to have become a rite of passage. So much so that the shock factor of finding out someone cheated is hardly even there anymore.

So where do you stand? Would you stay or would you go?

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Posted in relationships | 27 Comments »