Posts Tagged ‘kanye west’

Get Over It!

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

A few days ago, MTV aired their highly anticipated Video Music Awards. Last year, the most talked about moment was when Kanye West, drunk on his own ego, stormed the stage as sweet, young country-pop starlet Taylor Swift was accepting her award, ripped the mic from her hands and decreed that Beyonce’s video was in fact ‘the greatest video of all time.’

This year, everyone waited to see what would happen. Would Kanye join Taylor on stage for a duet? Would she punch him in the balls? Would he pull some regular Kanye-type shenanigans? Sadly, none of that happened. Instead, we got a particularly cringeworthy song performed by Ms Swift, which she apparently wrote for Kanye. I couldn’t get through the whole thing – it was hard to hear while I was wiping blood from my ears and attempting to claw my eyes out. Why this girl was given five minutes of stage time to perform this drivel is beyond me.

What she should have done was say thank you. Thank you Kanye for elevating my career to dizzying heights. Thanks to you and your lunacy, millions more people, who might not have ever heard of me, have bought my record. Thank you for all that extra publicity. Yes, she should be grateful. What exactly did this song achieve? Kanye has already tried his little humble act (albeit, not a very convincing one) by giving a drawn out apology over Twitter a few weeks back (ironically, he apologised to her by talking about himself for about 100 tweets). But right after it happened last year, Kanye (who I think it’s important to remember, was still mourning the recent death of his mother) was all over talk shows apologising and I refuse to believe that at some point, he didn’t call her or her management directly and utter the ‘S’ word.

So, what exactly was the point of Taylor’s performance? Attention, that’s what. And since it was such a desperate cry for attention, her performance is no better than Kanye’s interruption of her last year. You’ve had your apology, moreover, you’ve had A WHOLE YEAR to get to grips with what happened. Bitch, get over it!

It got me thinking about closure in general. We’ve all had arguments or confrontations we’d rather not have had. We’ve all felt hard done by. But if you wait a year or more to vent your feelings on whatever happened, that says more about you than it does the other person involved. If you had an apology at the time, or even if you didn’t, and you haven’t found a way to come to terms with the situation – if you’re still lying awake at night thinking ‘oooh I should’ve said THIS!’ – it’s you with the problem.

Don’t assume that the other person involved still wants to hear your thoughts on a confrontation that happened years ago. I’ve had that happen to me before – big dramatic argument, then someone tried to rehash it with me a couple of years later. Listen, you had your apology at the time and it was sincere. I’m self-reflective enough to realise when I’ve been an asshole and to do my best to rectify my behaviour. I have no desire to hear what you have to say when years have passed. I’m over it and if you’re not, that’s about you, not me.

Closure is a personal thing that everyone deals with in different ways. But while you may want to scream and shout at the other person, closure can only come from you. Writing cheesy country-pop ballads and performing them in front of the world may not be the way forward.

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Posted in relationships | 8 Comments »

Such a Big Ego

Friday, February 5th, 2010

We’ve all met someone just the wrong side of arrogant. A little bit of bragging is OK, but it doesn’t take much to cross that very fine line. Nice-bloke-to-douchebag can happen in three seconds. So where exactly does the difference between confidence and cockiness lie?

This debate came up between myself and the lovely Ondo Lady on Twitter during the Australian Open tennis final last week. Our very own Andy Murray played the man, the machine Roger Federer. I think Federer is a cocky twat, but many others said he’s just good at what he does. While I think he’s arrogant, they think he’s humble. I say he’s big headed, they say he’s confident.

At last year’s Wimbledon final he came onto the court in a tracksuit that had the number 14 stitched on it (for 14 Grand Slam titles) and he hadn’t even won yet. That’s kind of the definition of cocky, no? Though other people will argue it’s just healthy self belief. Then last week when he won the Australian Open, as Andy Murray stood on the sidelines in tears, Federer accepted his trophy and large cheque and proceeded to big himself up, talking about what a phenomenal game of tennis he’d just played.

But because he’s somewhat quiet and unassuming, people think he’s humble and unaffected. I put it to you that he’s a cocky twat!

Then we have someone like Kanye West. Perhaps Mr West is just making up for his time out of the limelight when he was a producer. Maybe he feels he was held back too long and intends to let everyone, their mama, dog, next door neighbour and second cousin twice removed know that he is the greatest of all time. At what exactly, I’m not sure. Being an egocentric twat? A moment stealing, microphone hogger? He’s definitely great at that.

But here’s the difference; with Federer, we can refer to his stats (as he plays an individual sport as opposed to a team one) and they speak for themselves. However much it pains me, he is the best at what he does right now. Kanye, (or any artist) saying he’s the best is redundant. Musical taste is subjective. Record sales mean nothing really (hell, didn’t the Ying Yang twins go platinum?) – they can just mean a whole lot of people have bad taste. And a whole lot of people really do.

A lot of this is cultural. For British people, being boastful and full of oneself is frowned upon, whereas in the States, they can’t get enough. Some people said if Brits let their cocky side come out more often, we might actually win at some sports.

If you’re good at what you do, shouldn’t you just be able to say it? Why do we feel the need to take the edge of our greatness to make others more comfortable? It should be enjoyable to rub your success in the face of an underachieving asshole. So, does self belief automatically make you cocky or are you just confident?

What say ye?

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Posted in life | 8 Comments »

Halloween Costumes 101

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

With Halloween fast approaching, I thought I’d give you all a few costume ideas that are bound to make you the talk of the party. I’m a giver like that.

Jon & Kate Plus 8

It’s ambitious but could be pulled off with some commitment.

What you’ll need: The ‘Kate’ will need to either grow out her fringe/bangs very long, or for quicker results get a fringe/bang weave. The ‘Jon’ just needs to wear a sweater vest and look like a wanker. The real challenge here is the hiring of the eight half-asian little people you’ll have to get to follow you around everywhere.

Cost: Clothing cost should be minimal – just aim for Walmart chic. I’m yet to look into the cost of hiring eight little people, but with the Jon and Kate divorce, the half-asian little people market is probably booming right now, so it could get costly.

Lil Wayne

The self-proclaimed ‘best rapper alive’ has had one hell of a year. It mystifies me why, but he has nonetheless. Go to a Halloween party dressed like him, people will give you awards just for showing up, much like people have given him awards seemingly just for being alive this year.


What you’ll need: This look works best if you’re 5’2″ or under. You should also be skinny, nay, scrawny even. Next step is to get your child/niece/nephew/young cousin to draw random shit all over your face and body. Throw on as much gaudy jewelry as possible. Clothing wise, a hoodie that looks like you just threw up on yourself is good, but Lil Wayne often goes shirtless (which completely befuddles women, but whatever) so you can forego the hoodie if need be. Perhaps a wife beater, some skinny jeans that sag under your butt cheeks and wear colourful boxers.

Cost: Minimal. Borrow your little sister’s skinny jeans, a few magic markers for the tattoos, some boxers. A few loaned bits of your grandma’s jewelry, don a dreadlock wig and you’re good to go.

Kanye West & Taylor Swift

Kanye’s moment stealing moment was his high point of the year. It’s all anyone could talk about for at least 48 hours – time to capitalise off that bad boy.


What you’ll need: If you’re playing Kanye, find a barber who is known to smoke illegal substances at least twice daily and let him loose upon your hair. The end result should resemble a fucked up crop circle on your scalp. Clothing wise, a simple black shirt, some jeans and some trainers that look as though they were made by and for two year olds. You’re all set. For Taylor, any skinny, blonde white girl will do.

Cost: El cheapo. The only real expense is the haircut and you can pay that barber in weed. Skinny, blonde white girls are a dime a dozen. If you’re playing Kanye, don’t forget to interrupt your Taylor whenever she tries to talk throughout the party.

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Posted in fashion | 7 Comments »

Dear Mr Kanye West

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

 

Hi. How are you? Uh huh, yeah, listen. I’m gonna need for you to stop. Stop everything. Like seriously, drop everything you’re doing right now and take a vacation. 

 

That’s right. Drop that giant chip on your shoulder and your gargantuan attitude and just go to a deserted island somewhere to reflect on your douchbaggery. 

 

The schtick is getting old. You are beyond annoying. You don’t have to mention how you are the savior of music/mankind/fashion/endangered species/the universe every time you open your mouth. We get it. Your ego knows no bounds and you are proud of that. 10-4. If you’re not going to progress and find something new to say, maybe you should just stop for a while, or you know, forever. 

 

What is kick starting this latest rant, you ask? That fucking ridiculous afro-mullet you’ve taken to rocking. That’s what. I don’t doubt that you have a wholehearted defense of how you are a pioneer in the fashion arena and how you don’t care what people think because you ‘start’ trends blah blah blah. Whatever. You look like a wanker. Which is actually pretty appropriate, because you are one. There’s no need to disguise yourself with a normal hair cut. It’s probably best that you package the goods in an honest way. 

 

Also, you’re not really pioneering anything at this point. Your Heartbreak/808 whatever album? You just used a vocoder, which in case you hadn’t noticed, was used by every other artist in your genre last year, before you did it. In case we’re not clear, that would make you a follower, not a leader. 

 

I rebuke it all Kanye. I rebuke it! Take your denim-on-denim with leather gloves combo and shove it. Take your overpriced sneaker collection for Louis Vuitton and shove that somewhere too. Take that vocoder and, if there’s any room left, shove that too. 

 

That is all. As you were.

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Posted in life | 5 Comments »

Things Which Must Stop (Before They Even Really Get Started)

Thursday, June 26th, 2008

 

These Glasses


Just because Kanye does it, don’t make it right. When I look out my venetian blinds in the morning, you know what I don’t think? ‘Hey, I wanna see like this all the time!‘ What useful purpose do these glasses serve? They’re the kinds of things that you get in a christmas cracker (albeit, a huge one) and throw out on Boxing Day because you realise they’re shit. So far, I have seen two people wearing these on the streets of Toronto and I felt an overwhelming urge to lash out. So I would say for the safety of everyone in the city, it’s best that no one else even attempts to wear these.

 

 

Socks and Crocs


Come on people. Do I really have to go over this again? We have already established that Crocs are the devil’s work. There is nothing to be done. They are beyond redemption. We know this. So why are some people trying to accessorize that shit? Socks with the crocs? I saw some woman rocking this a couple of weeks ago and damn near puked all over myself. Why would anyone think that is anywhere near appropriate. Must I remind you that we live in a CITY, a very cosmopolitan city at that? So, if you’re a woman and you don’t want to leave your house in stilettos or a fashionable flat, you should really stay your ass in the suburbs. But seriously, don’t ever go to the downtown core of one of the biggest cities in North America rockin’ socks and crocs. What the hell is wrong with you? I cannot single handedly elevate Toronto to ‘Fashion Capital’ status (though Lord knows, I’m trying) – a little help here people!

 

 

Over the Top Wimbledon Fashions


Oh Serena, this is a tad much, non? Who do you think you are? Me? This is totally what I would wear if I was ready to destroy the competition at Wimbledon. The only difference is, I would not actually play and ruin a perfectly good outfit with perspiration. It’s a sin. I’m all for showing a bit of flair for style at your work place, but you may as well be wearing stilettos out there for all the good the trench coat’s doing you (and yes, I totally would wear stilettos on centre court, but that’s not the (match) point). Just throw on some Nikes, a sports bra and one of those little pleated skirts and hit a ball around already.

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Posted in fashion | 10 Comments »