Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
I have been working my gym membership pretty hardcore recently. My trainer is trying to kill me, I’ve sweat more water than the River Thames and learned the hard way that tripping on a treadmill is not a good look.
I’ve started to notice some subtle changes (arms are looking a little more toned) and some not so subtle changes (um, basically, baby got back. All these frikkin’ lunges have given me quite the rear end).
I’m doing my work outs at 6am. Why? Because I am one crazy bitch, that’s why. I’m determined to make progress and shed this bit of ‘North America Weight’ that I’ve gained since living on this fat continent.
So, I was biking home a few nights ago from work. It was late and it was raining pretty hard. It’s never particularly fun to bike in those conditions. I get home, soaking wet and peeled myself out of my clothes. It was then that I noticed, my jeans had ripped right at the top of the inner right thigh. Sure, I could blame it on the fact that the jeans were two years old and they were soaking and chafing against my bike seat, or I could call it what it really is – *sigh* my thighs are just bigger than they used to be. That’s difficult enough to come to terms with. What’s harder to come to terms with is the loss of a $300 pair of jeans to a ‘biking incident.’
Then, the following day, I went to put on another pair of jeans and noticed that the zipper broke. What the frik?! I’m like the incredible hulk over here! I’m really not fat! How the hell am I busting out of my clothes all of a sudden? Jesus take the wheel – that’s $600 worth of jeans gone in a couple of days. *single tear*
I guess there’s an upside – if Sir Mix-A-Lot decides to make a comeback, I could definitely be in a video. My muscular ass is so powerful it rips through denim and breaks zips.
Tags: baby got back, fat ass, gym, working out
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