Posts Tagged ‘dumb chicks’

The ‘But I Love Him’ Defense

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

I would never claim to be an expert on relationships, but the one thing I’ll never understand is when a woman has 1001 complaints about her fella and when you ask why she’s still with him, her response is always ‘because I love him.’

‘He has all these annoying habits….but I love him.’

‘He smokes and I can’t stand smokers…but I love him.’

‘He slapped me that one time…but I love him.’

‘He always puts me down…but I love him.’

‘He never makes time to see me…but I love him.’

So let me get this straight; basically you can’t stand his ass, but because you ‘love him’ that cancels everything else out and you stick around? BITCH PLEASE!

Oh how I wish more of us could have greater self esteem and sense. I don’t know who you think you’re fooling, but since you can’t tell yourself the truth, allow me to help you out: it’s not even about you loving him, it’s about you not wanting to be alone. You cannot stand the thought of being single. God forbid! So, rather than take that chance and actually work on yourself a little bit, you’ll put up with whatever is thrown at you just so you don’t have to experience the horror of the single life.

And boy, is it awful. Let me tell you, as a single girl, I am completely shunned by society and treated like a leper. It is a horrible, horrible existence. *eye roll*

I’m sure this applies to some men too, but I’ve truthfully never met a man with a very high tolerance for bullshit, so I don’t tend to come across too many fellas crying into their beer about ‘but I love her!’

When did ‘love’ become the ultimate excuse to tolerate any kind of behaviour? Personally, if a guy is being a complete wanker to me, it’s pretty clear cut and I won’t keep him around that long. And to all of you ladies reading this and saying your classic follow up line whenever someone points out your stupidity when it comes to matters of the heart: ‘it’s not that easy’ – everything in life is as easy or as hard as you want to make it. You just have to make the decision.

So next time you try to justify your man’s stupid actions, think twice before dropping the ‘but I love him’ defense. You’re not doing yourself any favours.

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Let It Go Already!

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

 

We women like to feed each other some bullshit at times. Especially when it comes to men. During my recent break up, my girl friends rallied around me and dropped nuggets like; ‘He’s scared of his feelings for you,’ ‘He’s intimidated by you,’ ‘Give it time, he’ll be back.’ Ladies, respectfully, I ask you, what kind of horse shit is that? 

 

You know why my fella broke up with me? Because he didn’t want to be with me. Did I need him to say it twice? No. Did I call him and beg him to work it out? No. Am I sitting around strategizing ways to get him back? No. Why? Because I happen to think I am entirely too awesome to waste my time chasing after someone who has explicitly said they don’t want to be with me. 

 

So, for those ladies who need to hear it, don’t fear, I’m here to give you a no nonsense guide to breaking up and keeping your dignity in tact. 

 

If a man tells you/shows you he doesn’t want you, he has the right to do that. You don’t need to know the reasons why. Just hear he isn’t into you. Logic has to overcome your emotions at some point. Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you? It just doesn’t make any sense. 

 

Men, you’ve got to be forthright in what you’re saying. Just be honest and say you don’t want to be with her. If you drop the ‘I don’t see long term potential in this’ or ‘I can’t see  myself marrying you’ some women take that as a challenge, dig their heels in and set about trying to change your mind. That one sentence just bought you anywhere between 6 months and 4 years trying to get out of an already bad situation. Good luck! 

 

Ladies, just because you elected to ignore the fact that he said he doesn’t want to be with you, doesn’t make it any less true. Don’t take the fact that he is still willing to sleep with you to mean that he still wants to be with you. He does not. He is merely a red blooded male and if you lay it out on a platter, he will chow down. He is sleeping with you for three reasons a) because you let him b) to avoid having to deal with your crazed phone calls/emails/text messages and c) for something to do until someone better comes along. 

 

On that note, once you are just sleeping together, please don’t try to keep up the pretense that you are in a ‘relationship.’ There is no relationship at this point. You are fuck buddies. 

 

Where is your dignity God damnit?! Bottom line, you’re just embarrassing yourself for someone who doesn’t want you. Isn’t it just a tad cringeworthy to have to ‘prove’ to someone that you are worth it? You may think he is perfect for you and you’d make a great couple, but I’m pretty sure, by definition, the perfect partner is someone who actually wants you. 

 

Just my humble opinion, of course.

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Posted in relationships | 9 Comments »