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Friday, April 30th, 2010
Click here to watch Christina Aguilera’s video for her new song, ‘I’m not the same girl’.
Oh Christina, what’s that new fragrance you’re wearing? The scent of desperate? This is just entirely too much. Why is everyone so desperate to ‘push the envelope’? Christina just pushed it off a cliff into a giant black hole. I’m sure this video will be huge in S&M and bondage circles, but other than that, it’s a bit of a loser.
The song is called ‘I’m Not the Same Girl’ – I’m not surprised she’s not. I’m not the same girl when I dress like a $2 hooker and act like a wannabe lesbian either. And I think it’s the wannabe lesbian thing that offends me the most. Why must every female pop star now pretend she bats for the other team? If you do, that’s great, Merry Christmas, but to use it to sell records is just disgustingly offensive. Where are all the lesbians and why aren’t they up in arms about this?!
I think we’re supposed to assume that she’s sleeping with all the people she’s gyrating around with in the video. She’s riding one guy, has her face in some other chick’s crotch. That’s all pretty run of the mill stuff, but there’s something else here that I find disturbing: the face licking phenomenon. When they hell did it become popular to lick someone’s face? Someone did that to me, I’d bitch slap them, grab my thong and be on the next bus outta there.
Let’s talk wardrobe. Minimalist PVC was the look of the day I guess. Everyone is talking about how this is a Lady Gaga rip off, but they’re wrong. Allow me to direct you to Madonna’s Human Nature video – she did the bondage thing way before Gaga and her crazy ass came on the scene. Is anyone even finding this ‘wander around in your underwear/wear as little as possible’ thing sexy anymore? Personally, I would find it really sexy if people would put some damn clothes on already! Jesus, you see one cleavage, you’ve seen ‘em all. We get it Christina, you have a spectacular rack. Congratulations. Now put those things away.
This is being called Christina’s ‘come back’ song. You know where she’s coming back from? Having a child. I’m sure her son will love it when he’s school age and his friends tell him they wack off to his mama’s video. That’ll be fun times. Poor bastard.
This video is just a desperate attempt by Christina to prove she’s still relevant in a game that Gaga has a choke hold on right now and still sexy after giving birth. It reeks of desperate. Can’t say I blame her – look at Usher. Soon as he got married and had kids, we ceased to give a crap about him. He totally lost his sexy. But being that Christina has been around for so long, she should have enough balls about her to drive in her own lane. She doesn’t need to compete with the Gagas. She’s a pretty girl and she has one hell of a voice. If she wanted to do something different, she should have put some clothes on and just used her talent – that’s pretty rare these days.
When are these chicks gonna get it that it’s OK to leave a little to the imagination?
Tags: christina aguilera, come backs, desperation
Posted in music | 19 Comments »
Monday, March 22nd, 2010
There’s a certain kind of girl I can’t stand. I can’t be in her presence for longer than 10 minutes without wanting to sucker punch her. I see her mouth moving when she talks and in my head, I’m just screaming ‘SHUT UP!’ repeatedly. It’s the ‘boyfriend girl’.
Lil Miss Low Self Esteem cannot and will not hold a conversation with you without ensuring she drops the word ‘boyfriend’ in roughly every 34 seconds. ‘Oh really? My boyfriend says that all the time!’ ‘Well, I was meant to be meeting up with my boyfriend but…’ ‘My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I straighten my hair’. Listen lady, how about you take a little dose of ‘shut the hell up’ and get out of my face? We get it, you have a boyfriend. You’re getting laid. Merry Christmas.
Nothing is sadder to me than a girl who bases her entire personal happiness on what’s going on in her relationship. If her boyfriend decided to have a night out with the boys, she does nothing but whinge about it to her friends. Personally, if she’s as annoying with her boyfriend as she is when she’s relating all these petty stories to her girlfriends, I’m totally on the boyfriend’s side. I’d rather shoot myself in the face than listen to that crap. Every Facebook and Twitter update is a minute by minute breakdown of when they’re seeing their boyfriend again/how they’re pissed because they haven’t seen him/how they wish they could see him/how they miss him – give me strength! Get a frikkin’ personality and life of your own for Christ’s sake! That way you might find you’re not bored out of your brains half your life waiting for your boyfriend to return your 7000 missed calls.
When you question these girls, they’ve usually been with their significant other for about three months. Bitch please! There’s nothing significant about anyone in my life until at least the six month mark. And even then, we’re pushing it. Honestly, if you’re placing that kind of importance on your interaction with someone you really haven’t known or been intimate with for that long, you need your head checked. But first, please do sell me a ticket so I can enjoy the show when your relationship crashes and burns. That’s always oodles of fun to watch.
I cannot stress enough how you shouldn’t be Facebooking and Tweeting about your relationship. It’s sad that these girls don’t know how pathetic and needy this all makes them look. Most of the girls I see doing it, I wish I could just say ‘listen, I barely know you and I’ve never met your fella, but I can tell you, he’s not into you.’ It’s really frikkin’ obvious. So obvious in fact, it makes me wonder if these girls are reading their own Tweets. If they did, they’d surely see they’re in a bit of a non-starter situation.
But sadly, they need a guy to validate them, so when this guy dumps them, they’ll move right on to dropping their new boyfriend’s every thought and movement into every conversation. It’s a sad state of affairs.
Tags: clingy girls, desperation
Posted in relationships | 15 Comments »