Posts Tagged ‘cheating’

Stand By Your Man?

Monday, May 23rd, 2011

By now, we’ve all heard about Arnold Schwarzenegger fathering a child outside his marriage and keeping it a secret from his wife, Maria Schriver, for over 10 years. On the list of ways to totally crap all over the institution of marriage, your wife, kids and extended family, that’s pretty high up there. But it didn’t take long for the narrative to take a predictable turn. Of course Arnold was a sleaze bag, it should supposedly come as no surprise that he would do this apparently, but Maria, how could she not have known? She must have known! Why is it, in these situations, the dialogue so quickly implies that the woman is to blame in some way?

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Posted in relationships | 13 Comments »

Captain Idiot

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

Another day, another sports star in a cheating scandal. Now everyone wants to be Tiger Woods. I don’t claim to know anything about sport, but there’s this chap called John Terry who plays for some football team over here (that’s ‘soccer’ for you Americans reading) and also happens to be the Captain of the England team. Mr Terry, it was recently revealed, has been having an affair with the girlfriend of one of his teammates. The press has been having a field day with it and last week, Terry was stripped of his Captaincy for the England team. But was it right?

Hardcore Terry fans are outraged, saying his personal life has nothing to do with what he does on the pitch. Are we forgetting about what the real issue is here? He was having an ongoing affair with a teammate’s girlfriend. He’s supposed to be the leader of the team. Does he intend to motivate every member of the team by sleeping with their other halves? I’m not sure I understand the strategy. Can you imagine being the teammate and having to take direction from this prick when you know he’s been diddling your girlfriend? Probably makes things a little uncomfortable in the locker room.

These players are paid hundreds of thousands of pounds a week. On top of that, they get endorsement and advertising deals. John Terry can’t be captain of the England team for the same reason Tiger Woods was dropped by Gilette. It’s about morality. People buy into more than just the player. Can we really have Tiger Woods cheesing in an ad where the strap line is ‘Gilette. The best a man can get’? Gilette is clearly not the best Tiger can get. Tiger can get multiple hos, at the drop of a dime, whenever he wants (if he can squeeze it in between organising his sock drawer).

You are a representative of something. You are meant to be good and virtuous and honorable. Since you’re paid all that money to be a great football player, we expect you to be a great man too. Yes it’s bullshit, but that’s how it is. Use all that money to wipe away your tears. Considering how seriously football is taken in England, being the Captain of the England team is a pretty frikkin’ big deal. You are representing the country and the powers that be decided that a lying, cheating prick is not the best possible person to represent it.

It’s about more than just the game. It’s about leadership and the qualities of a leader. What have his actions done for the morale of the team? If I was the teammate, I’d be less concerned with kicking the ball around and more of concerned with kicking John Terry directly in the nuts.

But most of all, if you’re given that position, you do everything you can not to mess up that chance, just like with any big promotion in life. Sure, your personal life should have nothing to do with work, but when you make the decision to sleep with your coworker’s girlfriend, the rules change.

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Posted in relationships | 10 Comments »

Stay or Go?

Wednesday, January 13th, 2010

It’s the age old question: do you stay with a cheating spouse? From women burning their bras to Beyonce flicking her weave about and singing ‘Independent Ladies’, it’s been drilled into us that we shouldn’t tolerate such nonsense from men. But is it right to just get up and go?

The whole thing with a marriage is the ’til death do us part, for richer for poorer’ stuff. It’s supposed to mean something. I’m not married, but I would take those things to mean you stick it out through the tough stuff. People are so quick to run and get a divorce without even trying to work things out.

Whether or not you choose to do that of course, depends on the state of the marriage beforehand and the level of the betrayal. Tiger Woods wife, for example, having recently discovered her hubby has slept with the female population of at least four States, I imagine may have some difficulty with the whole ‘forgive and forget’ process, especially since she had to endure such humiliation in a public forum. But if your husband just slept with Sally down the street, is that forgivable?

Is it worse if it’s a one night stand or ongoing affair? A purely sexual relationship or an online, emotional one? Would it hurt more if he slept with multiple random women from a bar, or prostitutes? When it comes to this issue, where is the line that says ‘this behaviour is understandable/acceptable/forgivable up to this point?’

I should point out, I have no answers! Brutal honesty moment: I have been the woman men have cheated with twice. Unknowingly, I might add. I have this crazy idea that if a man chats me up, pursues me and gets into a relationship with me, that he’s single while he’s doing it. Apparently, that’s not always the case. Anyhoo, when I found out and ended it, a male friend of mine came to me with this perspective: look at all he went through to be with you. He risked his relationship of how ever many years to spend time with you, knowing it could all end. I think his point was that sometimes a guy can genuinely like two women, want to be with both and not want to hurt either party.

What if Mormons and polygamists have got it right? Should men be able to marry multiple women? Screw that, should women be able to do the same with men?! And would making that legal eliminate the problem? Since part of the attraction of cheating is the thrill of deceit and knowing you got away with it (or so I’m told), if you eliminate that aspect and lay it all out there – would it happen as much?

For my male readers, yes, certainly women do cheat too, but not as much as men. There’s a whole generation of men for whom cheating seems to have become a rite of passage. So much so that the shock factor of finding out someone cheated is hardly even there anymore.

So where do you stand? Would you stay or would you go?

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Posted in relationships | 27 Comments »

Tiger Gets Wild

Tuesday, December 8th, 2009

So, Tiger Woods has been getting a whole lot of ass. Are you surprised? I am. And not for the usual ‘I can’t believe a guy in a high profile position would take such a liberty and cheat on his nice wife’ type of reason. Mainly because the guy is about as exciting as toe nail clippings. I’m having a hard time getting my head around the fact that he managed to a) get married in the first place and b) actually have the conversational skills to be able to talk another woman into the sack.

Predictably, as is usually the case in these high profile cheating scandals, everyone is coming down on Tiger and passing moral judgement. His name is ‘Tiger’ for God’s sake. And his last name is WOODS! The man was pretty much born to cheat. But his wife tried to beat what little remaining personality he has out of him with a golf club – rest assured, he’s suffering at home.

What isn’t being talked about really is these women he slept with. Oh sure there’ve been discussions about how they all seem to fit a certain mould (white, work in the hospitality industry. Ladies, take note; never let your man eat at a restaurant alone. These heifers will be exchanging numbers by the time he gets to the entree). But no one’s talking about how low down and dirty they are.

This isn’t one of these scenarios where the woman had no idea he was married. It’s not like she was all ‘Tiger Woods, you say? Nope, doesn’t ring a bell.’ Bitch please! And this is what I don’t get about women who happily play the mistress. Sure, you may not know his wife, but where is your respect for her, just on a basic human level, as another woman? You’d be pissed if another woman took up with your husband, knowing he was married. So, how and why are some women OK with that behaviour?

‘He’s Tiger Woods,’ people are saying. ‘They were attracted to his money and fame.’ Yeah, no shit Sherlock. It’s not like they’re attracted to his personality. This is a man who looks like he colour-codes his sock drawer. I can’t imagine he’d be all that thrilling in the bedroom. One of his mistresses is complaining that he didn’t even buy her dinner. Who in the name of an 18-hole golf course sleeps with a man who doesn’t buy you dinner first?! And she’s complaining about it, why? It basically shows how much of a whore she is that it didn’t even take so much as a Chicken McNugget to charm the pants off her.

People are saying Tiger better have a good pre-nup. Why? His wife won’t leave him. She has too much to lose. And even if she does, Tiger will lose half his fortune. Even with that, I doubt we’ll be seeing him on the bread line at a Salvation Army near you anytime soon.

They’ll get counselling and Tiger will promise to be a good boy. He’ll stick with his wife to try to maintain/restore his squeaky clean image. His wife has his nuts in a vice as you read this and she tightens it every few minutes.

Stay tuned: which high profile celebrity will be the next to fall victim to some skanky waitress’s charms?

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Posted in relationships | 45 Comments »