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Monday, August 10th, 2009
I love me a B Boy. Of all the crazy stuff you see people doing in the streets to try and make money, B Boys crap all over everyone. If you come across the right crew, you are in for some pure entertainment. Sure, I’m sure none of them are paying for penthouses with what they make bustin’ a move in the street, but hey, everyone suffers for their art, right?
Given my love of the B Boy, I will always stop and watch a crew I see throwing down on a street corner. Sadly, the one crew I see on a regular basis here in Toronto need a masterclass in the art of hustling STAT. Can we get some New York breakers up here to show them how it should really be done?
In Dundas Square (Toronto’s version of Times Square, supposedly), there’s always a crew of B Boys (actually ‘crew’ may not be the right word. There’s 3 dudes). I cycle past them every night on my way home from work. They have music blaring, some cardboard thrown down on the ground, the only thing missing is someone actually doing some break dancing. I have stood there for minutes at a time, waiting for someone to do something, anything and yet nothing seems to happen.
There’s always a small crowd of maybe five or six people standing around them, equally as bemused as I. One of the three ‘B Boys’ is walking around the area with a sign that says ‘Donations Make Us Dance.’
Um, excuse me? Come again?
I think not bitches! How about you throw down, do a few windmills, an electric boogaloo and the robot and if I’m suitably impressed, I may make a donation. What kind of nonsense is that?!
No wonder I never see them actually dancing. I haven’t seen one person make a donation to their cause yet. You would think that would make them switch up their game plan a little and actually dance for people.
Don’t make me challenge you to a dance off people!
Tags: B Boys, beat street, dancing, lame Toronto hustlers
Posted in life | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 20th, 2008

I’m happy with my core group of friends. They’re a pretty cool crowd. Between friends here and in London, New York and Tokyo, I’m rolling pretty deep, but that doesn’t mean I can’t expand my amigo group.
I got to thinking about who in the public eye I’d want to be friends with. If I track down these people, I will try to recruit them into the world of Bangs and a Bun, because my world is crazy fun y’all! You know you wanna be a part of it. So here goes:
Judge Judy
Why? Because she’s awesome. If anyone ever needs to be put in their place, I’ll just roll out JJ and let her go to town. And really, is your life really complete without an older Jewish New York woman in it? No, I didn’t think so.
Michelle Obama
She dresses well enough to hang out with me. Plus, she’ll give me the ‘terrorist fist bump’ when she agrees with me. And her husband seems pretty cool too.
Gok Wan
Every girl needs her token gay. I’m sure he’ll happily criticise everyone’s dress sense and help me give make overs to those who may not be making the grade.
The Entire Rock Steady Crew
Because I need people to back me up whenever I feel like busting out the electric boogaloo.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck
It’s always good to have one friend who is way dumber than you. If they’re a completely ignorant, immature, offensive asshole, it just serves to make you look better. Plus, Judge Judy can constantly cuss her out, which would make my day.
Any of the Cosby Show kids
Except for maybe Sondra, because she always seemed a bit lame. But Theo, Vanessa and Denise? Now, they knew how to have a good time.
Snoop from The Wire
I would never have to fear for my safety. Snoop will just nail gun your dead body up in a building if you mess with me. Who doesn’t want a friend like that?
Maxine Gray from Judging Amy
She has a quick wit, a great laugh and she looks like she gives good hugs and can cook up a good meal. Plus, she played Detective Cagney in Cagney & Lacey, which basically makes her the coolest person ever.
Immortal Technique
It’s always good to have a rapper in your clique. Especially one who can give you a good insight into every conspiracy theory known to mankind. And if you ever come across an impromptu rap battle in the streets, throw this guy in there and you’ll get an insane amount of street cred.
Tags: beat street, cosby show, elizabeth hasselbeck, gok wan, immortal technique, judge judy, michelle obama, rock steady crew, The Wire
Posted in life | 9 Comments »