Glossary of Terms

Bangs - Also known as a ‘fringe’. Hair which covers the forehead, stopping just above the eyes (unless of course, you can’t afford a haircut, in which case, it can get a little messy)

Bun - A hairstyle in which the hair is pulled back and twisted around to form a circular shape of a bun. Not to be confused with the food sort of bun, which is much tastier than hair, but more calories.

Bitch Please - An expression of exasperation, disbelief or dismissal. Usually accompanied by the ‘bitch please’ face, which often takes years to perfect.

Bitch Slap - A hard, open-handed slap to the face, given out primarily when obscene crimes against fashion have been committed or to Beyonce, just because.

Booty Grope – A firm cupping of the buttocks used in the World of Bangs as a greeting, to show appreciation or affection.

Field of Dreams - This theory is based on the classic movie starring Kevin Costner and the immortal line ‘If you build it, they will come.’ Using this theory got Idris Elba, star of The Wire, to call me on Valentine’s Day once. Fact.

Uggs - Hideous bits of suede and sheepskin footwear that make you look like you’ve shoved your feet into two loaves of bread. The very sight of these can cause people to bitch slap with wild abandon (see above).

Leggings - The chosen uniform of lazy bitches worldwide, leggings are a tight, lycra fabric which grip the leg and display a revolting amount of cameltoe.

Cameltoe - Google it.

The Wire - The greatest television show to ever have graced our screens. Baltimore. Drug gangs. Police. Google it, then buy all five seasons, watch them and call me so we can talk about it, at length, for the rest of time.

Motherbitch - An expletive. e.g ‘Is that chick wearing leggings and motherbitchin’ Uggs?!’