Living Unapologetically as Me
I had an interesting moment while giving a talk about blogging last week. During the Q & A session afterwards, a woman raised her hand and told me she’d discovered my blog through a particular post that she loved but when she read through the rest of it, she found it whiny, moany and negative. The irony that she’d come all the way out of her house to hear me speak, then be pretty negative towards me was not lost on many in the crowd. As I responded to her, I had a bit of a light bulb moment: No longer will I apologise for who I am.
I have no ill will towards that woman – she raised a good point. Yes indeed, some of my posts on here have been whiny, moany and negative. I started my blog three and a half years ago when I wasn’t at a great place in my life and a lot of that got aired right here. I’ve lived a lot of life in the time I’ve had this blog and am now in a much happier place, which I feel is reflected in the posts, particularly over the last year. But life is not always rainbows and unicorns. For me to pretend otherwise would not be being true to myself. The one thing I’ve always wanted this blog to be is honest and as I’m not a one dimensional person, sometimes you’ll see the good and unfortunately, you’ll see the bad too. That’s just the way it is.
This isn’t high school, it’s life. I’m not in a popularity contest. I realised long ago that not everyone’s gonna like you in life. You don’t need to know why. I’m an upfront person, I say what’s on my mind. People either love me for that or think I’m a rude, arrogant bitch. You can’t win ‘em all.
I did and still do playfully mock how people dress. I find people’s reactions much funnier than the posts themselves. Things can be taken far too seriously – if people are happy with how they dress, more power to them, but I’m entitled to my opinion (as are you), and just because mine may not align with yours, does not mean I should be made to feel guilty, like I’m an awful person for not appreciating the merits of Ugg boots. If you remember nothing else about this post, remember this: no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. Think about it.
When I gives talks about my blog, I speak very factually about the success I’ve had with it and often feel compelled to start sentences with ‘this may sound very cocky but…’ because it’s terribly un-British to be proud of, or flaunt one’s achievements. I’m humble and very thankful to all those who’ve aided my success (mainly you, my dear readers *booty gropes x a zillion*), but I shouldn’t have to apologise for it just to make others around me feel better. I’ve worked my ass off and am incredibly proud of what I’ve achieved.
When people don’t like something about you, they want you to dislike that thing too and apologise for it. This is especially true if that thing (in my case, my up front personality) has brought you a reasonable level of success. Because they don’t like it, they would like for you to feel bad about it.
I’ve been through my teenage angst and uncertain early-twenties and having turned 30 recently I refuse to let others perceptions of me dictate the way I live my life. I fully intend to live freely, proudly and utterly comfortably with who I am. So if you’re expecting an apology, you’ll be waiting a while.
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Tags: acceptance, growth, success
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) I hope this post inspires everyone to be a bit kinder to the people they meet x
