Sticks and Stones
It’s one thing to hear playground taunts from children. Sometimes they just don’t understand the magnitude of the words they use or are merely repeating something they heard. It’s quite another to hear adults using language that’s known to offend. I hear more and more people use the term ‘that’s gay’ now and it completely baffles me. It’s always used in a negative context. If something is perceived as feminine, emotional, weak, it’s ‘gay’ apparently. But why is insinuating that someone is homosexual still the ultimate insult?
Before Christmas, famed woman beater/pop star Chris Brown got into a childish argument with former B2K singer, Raz B, when Raz B called Brown out for disrespecting women. Brown’s response (the full dialogue of which is easily googleable, but I shall not link to here) was to call Raz B gay, in ever escalating ridiculous and offensive ways. As if that wasn’t bad enough, Raz B has been alleging for quite some time that he was molested by his manager when he was in the group B2K, throughout his teens. For Brown, the fact that Raz B allowed himself to be molested must naturally mean that he ‘enjoyed’ it and is therefore ‘gay’. I’ll let you digest for yourself how offensive on exactly how many different levels that particular allegation is.
But what is sad is that Brown, who supposedly went through treatment to address his anger issues, couldn’t a) ignore the original attack, b) couldn’t address it in a mature way and start an open dialogue and c) went straight for the gut punch – questioning someone’s madhood and calling him gay, further insinuating that Raz B’s molestation somehow confirms this fact.
It’s just a pathetic insult that plays to an age old stereotype, that being a gay man means you’re not a real man. You’re weak, feminine and over emotional (and according to Chris Brown, allow yourself to be molested because you ‘enjoy’ it). It really just displays a pretty phenomenal level of ignorance – I personally know plenty of gay men who are none of those things. Yes, believe it or not, gay people come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, some are flamboyant, but some can bench press you then knock you out. Surely it’s time we moved past these ridiculous stereotypes?
But most of all, it’s incredibly important that we don’t continue to send this message to young boys and girls that being gay is the worst thing you can be. There’s an epidemic of kids killing themselves over these thoughtless, hurtful playground taunts. What makes it worse is that adults are saying it too – public figures like Chris Brown, who has a huge young fan base, reinforce the message that gay = bad by throwing around these senseless allegations. Let’s just get over ourselves already. Gay, straight, bi, transgender, whatever, your orientation doesn’t make you a lesser person, or a superior one for that matter. We’re human – we all experience the same emotional roller coaster of love, fear, joy and what have you on different levels.
I look forward to the day when calling someone ‘gay’ isn’t the ultimate insult. Love is love. Period.
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Tags: 'that's gay', Chris Brown, gay, homosexual. bullying, Raz B
