My Dirty Little Secret | bangsandabun.com

My Dirty Little Secret

I’ve debated whether or not to write this blog for a long time. It’s a hugely embarrassing subject for me. Mortifying actually. I actively avoid this conversation whenever possible. I mean, it’s hard, ’cause it’s out there, for people to see, but it doesn’t stop me from shying away, hiding, constantly looking for the exit. I hate this thing about myself and I’m sure that anyone else who suffers from it feels the same. I have reached a point however, where I’m so frustrated by it, that my embarrassment has to make way for solutions and letting others know that I know how they feel. So here goes…

*deep breath*

I have bad skin. Terrible skin actually. I’ve had acne since I was about 13. I’ll be 30 next year and it ain’t going anywhere. It is a mortifying problem to have. I have always longed to be one of those fresh faced girls, with glowing skin, who can wake up in the morning, splash water on their face and bound out of the house, all smug that I’m all natural. Instead, I have to spend God knows how long concealing the bad areas of my skin, only for it to make no difference at all because people can still tell. There are days I don’t want to leave the house. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve cancelled plans due to a break out. And all I can think is; I shouldn’t be going through this. Not at my age.

I’ve tried everything there is to try for this condition. I’ve read every magazine article and tested every handy hint from beauty experts. I’ve done everything from regular old antibiotics, to topical treatments, to chinese herbal remedies, to toothpaste, to face masks, to steam, to £60 facials once a week, to 8 glasses of water a day, to every specially developed acne skin care treatment you care to imagine, to totally changing my diet, to vitamins – you name it, I’ve done it. Nothing works. I’ve had stretches of time where a combination of vitamins does work, but eventually, my skin goes back to its rebellious ways.

Doctors don’t take this seriously. Just write a prescription for another antibiotic and get her out of the office. They don’t understand the highly emotional aspect of this condition, as a woman, where we are constantly judged by our appearance. I am someone who doesn’t even like to take Asprin if I have a headache and I’ve had doctors flat out tell me I’d have to be on antibiotics for the rest of my life. Which would be hideous enough, even if they did work. Not one has ever wanted to look at the causes with me or taken my requests to be referred to a specialist seriously.

On the rare occasions I have spoken about it with friends, they’re kind enough to say ‘but I can’t even notice it.’ Well that’s nice, but you can’t notice it because I spent have an hour tipping a vat of concealer over my face before I left the house and if it gets too hot in here it’s gonna literally blow my cover! But also, it doesn’t matter if I conceal it well and no one else notices, because I know, when the makeup comes off and it’s just me and the mirror, it’s still there. And it’s heartbreaking.

So there you have it. My dirty little secret. Not everything is always as it seems. I literally put a brave face on because I have no choice but to be ‘out there’, but beneath it, it’s something I’m constantly conscious of. So next time, before you point out to someone how bad their skin is (which believe it or not, some people love to do), trust me when I tell you, we know. We are painfully aware. I wrote this out of frustration, because it was time, because I deal with it every day, because I’ve just finished a two month course of yet another antibiotic that hasn’t worked and because I want others who suffer from it to know I understand. Feel free to share your dirty little secrets in the comments so I’m not flapping out here in the breeze! Also, if you have any acne remedies that you feel are sure fire winners that I may not have tried, by all means let me know.

Thanks for listening.

*big sigh of relief*

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Tags: personal, secrets, things I've been super scared of posting

79 Responses to “My Dirty Little Secret”

Dempeaux
November 29th, 2010 at 6:11 am Have you seen this? Perhaps it would help? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAv8-6hkYko
Smarty P. Jones
November 29th, 2010 at 8:31 am *hugs* I’m sorry, boo. I understand. I wish I had a suggestion for you. One thing you could do is embrace your blemishes. Hell, name ‘em. They’re a part of you and I’m sure they have a lot of personality. *shrug* That’s all I got. *hugs*
Sister Wolf
November 29th, 2010 at 8:39 am I got break-outs even through my late 40s. I feel you completely. One big cystic pimple feels like a beacon on your face! I swear by Retin-A. It can take a few weeks and can make your skin worse at first…but it will work. You may need to wear a bag on your head for 2 weeks but it will work, I swear to god.
Bonnita
November 29th, 2010 at 8:40 am Apple cider vinegar. No concealed skin!!!!!!!
Go-Go Rach
November 29th, 2010 at 8:42 am Bangs, Dahling.

You have problematic skin. I know how much that sux because I’ve been dealing with the same thing for the past year. Even more “dirty” is that I brought my issues upon myself when I began picking my face as a way to deal with stress. So AWFUL! For me, it is a vicious cycle of appearance, picking, even larger re-appearance. Huge, red, deep scars remain. WAAH.

PRAISE MAKE-UP!

Are you using an under make-up primer? If not, this will do wonders for your maintaining foundation/concealer, eye make-up and those *SMOKIN’* scarlet lips of yours. Benefit rules the planet. Have you tried their products? OUTTA THIS WORLD, BABE.

I am a firm believer most (if not all) body issues stem from nutrition. Have you tried eating clean for periods of time? Banning all processed foods from your diet is miraculous in million little ways, including glowing, clear skin – because IODINE in salty foods causes acne.

You mention you have tried vitamins, but are you choosing vitamins made with ORGANIC, whole food nutrients added? If not, you are wasting your time with a substance that WILL pass through your body without absorption because our bodies have no clue what to do with the likes of Coral Calcium (when have we ever eaten coral???) etc., ect. Give that body what it knows and loves: REAL FOOD and/or real food vities!

Hate it, I do, that I have to pay extra for food to be grown *RIGHT,* but them’s the breaks nowadays. Buy organic foods.

For vitie advice, Earl Mindell’s Vitamin Bible is my go-to resource, so I offer his advice to ya (forgive if you’ve got all this, just really want to help a fellow blogger chick out. If you don’t have this book, I encourage you to get it bc because this guy has solutions for everything body related AND he know his stuff!)

Okay, one more thing, then I promise I will STFU, already! What are you using ON your skin? Prior to my nutrient obsession, I only used Chanel skin care/make-up. Then I found out our skin is essentially one big stomach, in fact the LARGEST organ of our structures. Just like our insides reject man made dupes, our skin will react to any and all things not recognized: chemicals. Some of us are more sensitive than others, so we need to extra careful about what we put on our skin. Mychelle and Anne Marie Borland ROCK THE NATURAL COSMETIC PLANET!

So, yeah, I gave ya a blog post length comment, but I truly hope what I have said helps you and your readers out.

I love ya!

BTW, I deserve a booty-grope, but it’s cool if you’re busy – CUZ I GOT A LAST MIN. BOOTY CALL LAST NIGHT! PRAISE DE RULA BC it’s been since Halloween. I was turning into GO-GO BITCH!

*MWAH*

Go-Go Rach

Everyone needs: MVP (Mindell’s Vitamin Program): 1. High Potency Multi (Real Food Organics Ultimate formula are what I use and recommend), 2. Amino Acid-chelated mineral complex with digestive enzymes for better absorption). 3. Broad Spectrum Antioxidant formula (I get this in the Harmonized Label antioxidant powder I thrown into a blender w/ frozen berries for taste and Harmonized Protein powder. THE BEST ON THE MARKET, take it from me, I live on protein shakes and have tried them all. This one PACKS a yummy nutrition punch and saves me from having to deal with eating for an impressive amount of time because my body has what it needs.).

Organic, whole food antioxidant should contain: alpha- and beta-carotine, lutein, lycopene, vitamins C, E, selenium, gingko-biloba,Co-enzyme Q10, Bilberry, L-glutathione, cyseine, soy isoflavones (genistein, and daidzein), Grape seed extract and green tea extract)

Time release is pretty much a myth, so we gotta take each of these supplements two times a day w/ food.

Nutrients to be added to his MVP for acne are:

Vitamin A, (found in fish, liver, egg yolks, butter, cream, green leafy veggies).

Vitamin B Complex – found in brewer’s yeast, dried lima beans raisins and (thank goodness!) cantaloupe.

Personally, I wish I did not have to eat (or sleep), bleh, so I eat lots of vities to stay go-going.
Lauren
November 29th, 2010 at 8:44 am I’ve had terrible skin for years too. A whole decade is pretty depressing. In the end I went to the doctor and they sent me to a dermatologist because I burst into tears and scared the male doctor! I finally went on roaccutaine which is the last option apparently and my skin has improved so much! 5 years later and I still get spots, but also have weeks of clear skin and then get the odd one. Maybe ask for roaccutaine too, it saved my confidence and skin. Good luck, we know how it feels and send love and sympathy. Xxx
Lauren
November 29th, 2010 at 8:47 am P.S. It also helped me to wash my hair upside-down over the bath to stop the shampoo going on my skin. I helped a lot too because shampoo is sooo bad for skin. Xxx
F.
November 29th, 2010 at 8:50 am Dear you,

You’re a brave woman for sharing this, I dont recognise your problem and never really realized how troubling bad skin can be. You don’t mention ever having tried contraception pil, especially Diane is good against acne it’s said. Did you try? Besides that, I think you should pressure your doctor to see a dermatologist. You’re a firm woman, come on, hit your fist on the table and demand to see an expert. You box for gods sake, that must make some impression

Good luck to you!
ruby
November 29th, 2010 at 8:50 am xx it’s not the same but I’ve had grandma style varicoise veins since I was 18 xx I think about being rich enough to get surgery all the time x

Your amazing, if you don’t you should know it, and as a girl with many hidden and viasble ‘faults’ remember that a tiger can’t be a tiger without his stripes x
The Jaded NYer
November 29th, 2010 at 8:51 am Was this just a not-so-clever ploy to get me to tell you what I know about Jimmy Hoffa’s disappearance? Nice try, Bangsy, but that dirty little secret is coming with me to the grave…
Go-Go Rach
November 29th, 2010 at 8:52 am CRAP. Don’t know how that got screwed up…prolly ‘cuz it was so LONG. *shrugs*
Nepenthe
November 29th, 2010 at 9:06 am You know, I was trying to figure out what it could possibly be before I actually continued reading – and I couldn’t help but smile when I did because I’m in the same boat.

Lately my skin has been ok, but I know first hand that frustration of not feeling comfortable without the concealer & such. I defnitely have skin envy of anyone who has clear skin, I’d love to be able to streamline my routine to a splash of water, a splash of moisturizer and a bit of colour and be out the door.

If it wasn’t bad enough to get the blemishes in the first place, every single one of mine them likes to leave behind a spot of hyperpigmentation that takes months to fade. I hate it, loathe it in fact especially in the winter when the contrast between my skin and the scarring is most obvious. For years I didn’t wear makeup at all (telling myself it wasn’t that bad) and when I look back at those photos I still cringe – in fact, I’m positive a part of my soul actually cries.

It’s been my experiences that there is a noticable difference to how people treat you based on how they perceive your skin to be. I suspect most people don’t even realize it, but the contrast between the two is stark. Oddly, I get compliments on my skin these days – which is obviously due to the makeup, but it serves as a reminder that I will always see things to be a hundredfold worse than the average person.

I wish I had some advice or product recommendations to give you, but like so many other things related with skin, it’s so unique to us. I suspect my issues stem from hormonal issues, so I make due the best I can with a steady routine to keep things as balanced as I can until the monthly spike comes around. Just know that I think you’re absolutely fabulous, and that you’re never alone when it comes to to ‘bad skin’.
Michael
November 29th, 2010 at 9:19 am Where do I start? I had acne that was so bad that I did eventually get referred to a dermatologist at the LGI, in fact he came to my house to see me but I was at the dentist at the time. It is a long story.
I don’t think that there is an antibiotic that I have not taken for acne, all of them useless. I was 15 when I first saw the dermatologist. I was his first perfect 10. That is not a good thing. He had a scale for determining acne coverage. I was 10 for face, 10 for back and 10 for chest. He gave me every treatment available to him at the time, again to no avail. Eventually, when all other options were closed he put me on a new experimental drug that was branded, at that, time as Raoccutane. It worked. It was horrible the side effects were awful but it worked.
There are huge risks taking the drug but If you are willing to take those risks go to your GP and insist he refers you to see a dermatologist. There may well be better treatments available now that aren’t so damaging to one’s health but you will have to push and push to get an appointment.
Don’t give up and yes you are still beautiful inside and out regardless of the blemishes and scars.
WendyJournal
November 29th, 2010 at 9:41 am Have you tried hormone balancing solutions? Cutting out dairy and non organic meat? It worked for someone i know.
ThatAndThis
November 29th, 2010 at 9:47 am Hey, I developed acne last summer after copming off the pill (which I had been taking for 7 years).

A mate recommended Pukka’s Organic Neem and Sarsaparilla herbal pills – she’s been taking them for a year and her skin is fantastic. I’ve been taking them for about 3 months and the difference is amazing, plus I haven’t had any side effects.
If you’re interested, you can find them in health shops (not Holland & Barrett tho) and online. Feel Unique sell them at a decent price. You’d be better off buying 3 bottles as to begin with, you’ll need to take 6 a day (2 with every meal) and you’d be surprised how quickly you get through them. http://www.feelunique.com/search?q=neem+and+sarsaparilla&go=Go

I hope this helps. xx
Fi
November 29th, 2010 at 9:57 am Have you tried Dianette? It’s a contraceptive pill but was originally a skin treatment and just happened to have the contraceptive side effective. I use it and it works for me.
Fashion Limbo
November 29th, 2010 at 10:17 am Well, you did post it and as I told you the other day… I hear you. I never had acne as a teenager, not much really. Whilst some of my friends had to go to the dermatologist, I only had to worry about the odd blemish here and there. I had braces on my teeth for a long time so maybe I was given a “pass” in the teenage acne department.

Then, funny enough, from the age of 23 everything changed. I would visit my home town and had people looking strangely at me and directly asking what was wrong with my face (this is how Southern Spain can talk to you at times, *sigh*), pointing, it ended up being a topic of conversation on family dinners, accusing me of not eating properly as I lived in the uk and Belgium, saying it had to be my fault, as I didn’t sunbathe enough to dry out the blemishes.

And some years have gone by and it’s still there. I’ve worked in an office full of men, doing a fantastic job, to be again, pointed at by some guy who would say, “how come you have acne, you’re not a teenager”. How very professional, how mature, it seems someone else is holding on to teenage-hood in a different way … I wish I could have told him that, but instead I would blush, run to the bathroom and apply more concealer.

I tried a lot of different solutions. I’ve had to justify myself, I’ve cried, I’ve paid a lot of money on make up and other beauty products…My skin has been full of blemishes, completely dried up, flaky, then greasy, then dry again, and the acne has been the one fixed thing.

I even decided to go make up free, as I was told that the make up was just obstructing my skin’s pores…just like Nepenthe above, I look at those pictures and I want to cry.

What has worked for me? the pill, more concretely Yasminelle. Diane worked for a bit but then stopped, and whenever I took a break from it my skin would look like a potato plantation. Yasminelle cleared my skin very quickly and I’m now on a break from it and things are not too bad. I also drank lots of water but that hardly helped. Toothpaste helps me get rid of some of the blemishes that are appearing on my pill-free present.
Also, after washing my face I dry it with tissue paper, never with a towel. It’s more expensive and less environmentally friendly but can you blame me?

I also noticed that if I made a real effort and not stressing, my skin made a good effort at behaving, and this has been an eye-opener.

It’s a constant in my life, that acne-bitch. But I’ve had the “To my face” comments, the ones behind my back, the parental ones saying I was doing everything wrong, the one’s from friends actually pulling faces of disgust, looking straight at you and seriously scrutinizing the size of your pimples. They’re not my friends anymore, and now that my skin has got slightly better, they don’t get to see my face anymore. And they can simply s*d off…them and my ex work colleague.

You’re a powerful and beautiful woman Bangs, and you inspire me more than you (and even myself) know. I salute you.

xxxxx
Ginta
November 29th, 2010 at 10:25 am I so understand you! I’ll be 30 in 2 days and up till couple of months ago I had bad breakouts. Really bad! I’ve had depression because of it. I’ve hated myself for that. I’ve blamed the whole world ’cause it seemed that everyone but me had a perfect face! In my case I blame genetics, they say it doesn’t matter but it does! My mom had breakouts up until menopauses! My brothers have bad breakouts. I have on and off visited dermatologists; I’ve gone through everything you mentioned. Only thing I didn’t try was Roaccutane I wasn’t brave enough. Although my BFF swears it helped her. At the moment I praise AHA creams for my clear skin but will see how long it’ll last.
Georgia
November 29th, 2010 at 10:37 am Thats so heartbreaking .

Erm my secret. I hate my teeth. Like not just hate despise. I was always on the Nhs and the top set of teeth are completely crooked and have vampire fangs. I begged for a brace when I was 8 and the dentist refused. I have seen people with nicer teeth than mine with Nhs braces.

Anyway it sounds daft but I won’t smile and am very very uncompfortable talking to new people because they will see. I always look Miserable coz i can’t smile or people will know. The worst times are weddings or Christmas day etc when everyone winges because I won’t smile in photos and goes “say cheese”, how about you fuck off you tight gits making me have the nhs’ shitest dentist.

They are stained because I hope they will eventually fall out and I can wear dentures as they will at least look straight. I can’t get them whitened at the dentist because then people will notice them more.

This sounds pathetic sorry.

Xxxx
Karleen Smith
November 29th, 2010 at 11:03 am Hey lady, I know exactly how you feel and I think you are really brave putting this out there. Like me, you come across as a confident lady and I am sure that people will be surprised by your post. It has certainly made me feel better that I am not alone. Problematic skin can really get you down . I have tried all sorts of crazy remedies and solutions throught the years. I don’t want to bore everybody with my issues. Luckily for you, I’ve sent you an email. But I did want to say thank you for raising awareness of this. I am about to get going on a another ‘skin miracle’ ( I hope!) tonight. I purchased a Clarisonic last week and it arrived at the weekend. After amazing reviews from everybody I just had to have one so it will debut in my bathroom tonight. Hopefully it will be the beginning of the end of my skin issues. I will be sure to share my feedback.

Karleen xxx
Anonymous
November 29th, 2010 at 11:06 am I was going to suggest contraceptive pill as well, Yasmin, as above. It’s a newer generation than Dianette. I take it for the symptoms of policystic ovary syndrome, and I don’t believe I would have been offered it by my GP, I read about it in an article on PCOS and asked for it. I understand its quite expensive and they don’t like to prescribe it!

Which leads me to MY dirty little secret. I’m not as brave as you, so I’m doing it anonymously (sorry!). One of the symptoms of PCOS is increased hair growth. Usually in a male pattern. So my secret is I wax my chin. I hate it. It’s not as bad as a freak show bearded lady, just a few hairs that are darker and thicker than normal, but I still hate it!! I feel very self- conscious about it if I’m a bit tardy with the waxing, and even that isn’t completely effective – not to touch anyway. So there you go, that’s my dirty little secret!
Jazmine from Jazzabelle’s Diary
November 29th, 2010 at 11:14 am hello! i’ve only just recently started following you on twitter and this is the first post of yours i have read.

i am so sorry to hear about your skin, but it may sound weird but i’m very glad you have been brave enough to tell everyone. so thank-you.

i also have rather bad skin, okay, i’m an eighteen year old girl so it’s expected, but it can really affect my day to day life. i cry because of it, i have panic attacks because of it and i don’t leave my house or go college because of it. once i didn’t leave my house for a little over two weeks. and recently i didn’t leave my house for a week.

last year september i went to the doctors for my skin and the gave me this cream, i honestly can’t remember what it was called, but it worked. really well. i used it every day like prescribed, never missing a day like it recommended, then a couple of months later one day when i looked in the mirror, parts of my skin were a different colour. the fucking cream had bleached my skin! it was noticable for me, but others said the didn’t notice. they where obviously being nice, it was very noticable. i had two ligher patches on either side of my nose and the lower part of both my cheeks. now i don’t wear that much concealer or foundation, mainly because i’m usless at putting it on, and can’t seemed to find the right colour for my skin, so even with makeup i could still see it and it made m very paranoid. of course i stopped using the cream straight away, not then not only did i have bleached skin but also my spots where back…

i went back to the doctors, and thankfully i got a lovely and kind femaile doctor who was very sympathetic toward me. she booked me an appointment at another doctors, who could examine my skin better. i went to the appointment with no makeup on like requested, of course having a mini panic attach before i left my house, but was indeed looking forward to finally gettinh my hideous face sorted out/ but when i got there the doctor was so useless it was unbelievable. so much so that i walked out of the appointment. she told me to wait until summer so i could get a tan, putting suncream in the darker parts of my skin. in theory it sounds okay, but seriously..she is a doctor, what usless advice. for a starter i don’t like getting a tan, and by doing what she suggested would probably make my skin even more blotchy.

so, i went back to the doctors, even more upset then before, so once again she booked me an appointment at the hospital to see what they could do. once again that appontment was rather useless, so they said they woulf put me on the waiting list to see a dermatologist, which made me very happy. in september i got my letter with the date of my appointment, and what did it say? that it will be in september 2011!

anyway, i’m rambling and probably not making much sense, i do apologize, so i better wrap up. in my photographs on my blog my skin looks clear, because of my editing. i don’t edit my pictures for that reason, i edit them to make them more grainy and pretty, hence why on my side bar i write ‘i’m prettier in my photographs than i am in real life’, because i don’t want people to think hat i have flawless skin and why they meet me think who is this spotty ugly person?

i really do hope your skin gets sorted soon, you’ve inspired me to possibly talk about the problems i have on on my blog. so thank-you. but right now i’m off to have bath and scrub my face until it looks decent.

love, jazmine. xxx
p.s. do excuse any mistakes i have made, my mum is kicking me of the laptop so i haven’t had a chance to reread what i have wrote, but i just really wanted to post my comment now…
Audrey’s Cat
November 29th, 2010 at 11:31 am I get breakouts even now – in my 40′s, got a LOVELY one on my chin, very attractive. You are not alone although mine is a minor thing, always have the odd spot or two, but doesn’t bother me as I say oily skin = less wrinkles. Can’t believe people are crass enough to point out skin issues, a good response is “don’t let the door hit you on your fat/skinny ass on the way out…”. I also have LUSH varicose veins – one since I was 15 due to a horse riding accident but as it on the back of my leg again can’t see it, ain’t bothered. We are none of us perfect …. but that’s no reason not to demand help from your GP. Chill Babes….
thrutheblue
November 29th, 2010 at 11:35 am Bangs…thank you for such an honest blog, I know this must have been painful to write and scary to post. I can’t offer any real suggestions, I have been lucky with my skin, I have heard a lot about certain contraceptive pills being good for skin problems.

I hope you find a solution, big hugs! xxxxx
Bex
November 29th, 2010 at 11:39 am Great that you shared this, as so many people feel the same. When I have a big spot I want to just hide away but then hate myself for being vain.

The contraceptive pill has really helped my skin. I was on Dianette to clear it & am now on Yasmin & it has been brilliant. x
Victoria
November 29th, 2010 at 11:40 am Oh it really is an awful feeling! Totally with you there. I’m 31 and in the same boat – the embarrassment is unbearable at times.
Over the last year I’ve been going to a Beauty Salon that uses Dermalogica products. They did me a prescriptive facial examination and tailored a regime for me. The therapist says she’s never seen such sensitized skin and was clear that she couldn’t guarantee the results. I’ve had a monthly facial and tweak my routine depending on what’s going on in my life ( factors such as stress, weather, gin etc). She’s taught me how to be more aware of my skin and the difference has been unbelievable! I’m still not clear but just yesterday, I went to the supermarket without make up on. This is something that a year ago would have made me feel sick with shame.
Skin doesn’t define your beauty but I know how you feel. Good luck with it and remain full of fabulosity!xx
Jessa
November 29th, 2010 at 11:46 am http://www.acne.org

I loosely follow the regime from this site and it has helped my skin SO much. Cheap, easy and it works. Hope you find something that works for you xx
MrsD
November 29th, 2010 at 11:48 am Looking at your pictures you would never know – you look amazing. I don’t know what can solve your problem but I have friends in the US where they are slightly ahead of the curve on this and they all said once they had their hormones balanced it solved their facial out breaks hope this helps
northwest is best
November 29th, 2010 at 11:53 am Thanks for your honesty! I still get spots and I’m 26. I couldn’t call it acne, it’s not that bad, but it still affects my confidence. For me, reducing the refined foods I eat (white pasta, flour, sugar etc) helped, and not wearing too much make up. Helped, not cured. Best of luck xx
Leila
November 29th, 2010 at 11:54 am What a beautifully brave post! Thank you so much for sharing. Persistent acne is an awful affliction. I have dealt with it in varying levels over since my early teens. My ex-husband suffered with cystic acne as a teenager into his early twenties. It calmed considerably when he began to clean up his diet and simplified his face-care routine (Dove soap + benzoyl peroxide + weekly clay masks). A friend of mine suffered with horrible cystic acne, and in her early 40s had a series of chemical peel treatments which dramatically smoothed out her skin. Although I’ve never had cystic acne, I’ve pretty been spot-free since being on a predominately vegan diet. The animal products I do consume (i.e. yogurt, fish) are organic. It couldn’t hurt to have a consultation with a Naturopath, or even check out the book “Natural Makeover Diet”.
liloo
November 29th, 2010 at 12:02 pm I would have never ever ever guessed your secret. I’ve had bad skin all my life. Not so much big zits anymore but huge volcano pores, nicely filled with black heads: sexy! not. I can’t use spots products anymore as my skin is become more and more dry as I am growing older and this is something I can’t put my finger on. You would think as you grow older, spots will give you a rest, but no. Go figure. I don’t have any products to recommend other than this fab product which I like to use when I either a big spot coming on, or when the big spot has happened, and is at the drying stage. It’s called Dermalogica Overnight Clearing Gel (£24 – expensive but it really works) You can get it on internet like in places like lookfantastic.com and it’s amazing. Nothing dries my spots and make them disappear faster. It’s genius.
Linda
November 29th, 2010 at 12:02 pm Apparently N-Lite (blue light) laser treatment produces excellent results.
Dani
November 29th, 2010 at 12:03 pm I totally feel your pain! Although it’s not the worst of cases my skin still breaks out on a regular basis…rarely does a day pass by without a new spot erupting on my skin and it is so annoying! I just feel hideous without make-up on, I can’t stand the sight of my face if I haven’t covered up my spots and dark circles and I own more foundations and concealers than I do any other product (I rate them based on how good they make me feel about my skin rather than anything else).
Weirdly though other people (except for my mum) don’t comment on how bad my skin is, they seem to think I have good skin and I would love to be able to thank them instead of shamefully admitting that it is, in fact, my foundation. If you find a cure I would love to hear it, and I’m not alone in that!
xx
Ruby A
November 29th, 2010 at 12:15 pm Thanks so much for sharing. You’d be surprised how many us feel your pain and frustation on this, though!

People underestimate just how much your skin can affect your self-esteem – it’s the first thing people see, after all.

I had perfect skin as a teenager – people used to stop me in the street to tell me how beautiful my skin was. A couple of years ago, however, I stopped taking the Pill and developed acne as a result. My skin went from flawless to an absolute mess very quickly, and being back on the Pill is the only things standing between me and a vat of concealer. I tried aspirin masks, Zynerit, Sudocreme, tea tree oil, Dermalogica, Murad, steaming my face and scrubbing my skin like a madwoman… and being back on the Pill is the only thing that’s worked permanently.

I can honestly say I’ve never felt so unattractive in my life; I just wanted to hide away.

As for getting your GPs to take you seriously, you’re going to have to shout and demand until they listen – switch doctors, if you have to. I had one idiot GP tell me the symptoms I described to him were ‘normal’ – until the fool realised I was describing a textbook UTI.

My dirty little secret? I use skin lightening creams which contain 2% hydroquinone – the stuff that’s now banned for cosmetic use in Europe. I get it sent over from Jamaica, as it’s still legal in the Caribbean and US. Thing is, I already have light skin, so why do I use it? I suffer with hyperpigmentation; I only have to think about getting spots to have a horrible dark blemish appear, and when I had acne, the only thing worse than the spots was the Dalmation-esque blotches they left me with.

See a dermatologist independent of your GP, if they refuse. You’ll be kept waiting around for months anyway. I really hope you find a solution to this – acne at any age is heartbreaking. Let us know how you get on. x
Jen @_alittlebird
November 29th, 2010 at 12:33 pm Bangs. Like so many others – I hear you. My skin is a constant source of insecurity. I don’t really get spots any more, but I have scars. The bad teenage skin cured by the contraceptive pill (Marvelon has been amazing for my skin) years ago still affects me every day due to these lifelong reminders. And even worse, their presence is all my own fault for picking and prodding and covering open wounds with Rimmel’s Hide the Blemish.

I often have people tell me my skin is lovely – expensive primer, thick foundation, half a stick of concealer and enough powder to dust for finger prints will do that for you. And no matter how much I try to convince myself I don’t mind all the makeup, that I wouldn’t go out without it anyway, that it’s nice to treat yourself to expensive cosmetics on a regular basis… I really, really wish I didn’t have to bother.

I can recommend Marvelon as a cure and really hope it works for you. For coverage, a combination of Laura Mercier face primer, Estee Lauder Double Wear, YSL Touche Eclat and Rimmel’s Stay Matte powder and Hide the Blemish concealer work for me. I find blusher and lipstick are great distractions on particularly bad days, too.

xx
pink
November 29th, 2010 at 12:54 pm Thank you so much for sharing…My dirty little secret is alopecia. Not ready or even strong enough to go into the details but it has a completely overwhelming effect on my life. Sometimes I don’t want to go out either. Having said that I have noticed that recently I’ve been adopting a bit of a f**k you attitude and if I catch someone staring. I wait and then hold my stare and they usually turn away first. I’m tired of looking daown and staying in and feeling bad but still not quite ready to commit details to paper a.k.a. blog. This post has really really helped…thank you again xxx
pink
November 29th, 2010 at 1:01 pm Having left my comment I now feel really emotional!! Seriously I’m at my desk at work and I just want a hug! But I’m so glad you put yourself out there and by doing that I’ve had to face my own dirty little secret too Love yaxxxx
Baz
November 29th, 2010 at 1:31 pm Roaccutane, Roaccutane, Roaccutane…so good I named it thrice…is the ONLY long term solution.
I’m 36 (nearly 37) and have spent all of my 30s with adult onset acne, after a pretty much otherwise spot free life since adolescence. I tried everything – except the pill, because I’m done with that – but after a 6 month course of Roaccutane (completed in September) they have finally gone. If the other creams & antibiotics haven’t provided lasting relief, they never will. Like Lauren says, they call it the last option, because it’s a hardcore drug, and in a very small minority has caused horrible side effects (suicidal depression no less) BUT you are monitored on an initial low dose, and I was fine bar the unavoidable 6 months of insanely dry lips & slightly dry skin. You also shouldn’t really drink alcohol – it can affect liver function – and mustn’t get pregnant – can cause birth defects (told you it was hardcore). The booze thing was initially tough for me at least, but I surprised myself & actually it was fine (bar a smattering of occasional boozathons). I was training for the Berlin marathon at the same time so spent a summer of ridiculously nun-like behaviour when I’m normally careering around music festivals and the like. Easier to get up for those cold long Paris Half training sessions on a Sunday morn, without the post-Saturday night fog though Bangs!

You must insist your doctor refers you to the dermatologist. My God, the title of this blog & your nerves about posting it are proof enough that it’s affecting you mentally & eroding your self-confidence to the point of not wanting to leave the house sometimes. I was the same – and mine weren’t even that bad in the grand scheme of acne – but you just get bloody sick of it when adolescence is but a memory.

You’re a beautiful lady & being able to share & try and find some humour with real friends & loved ones (my dear boyfriend called the recurrent stonkers on my chin ‘The Tusk’) is a tonic, so I know you will find some relief in posting your blog today.

BazXX
Danni
November 29th, 2010 at 2:21 pm I totally sympathise with you Bangs – I’m 24 and for the last 2-3 years my skin has been a total nightmare, despite it being perfectly clear throughout my teenage years (UNFAIR!!) What’s worse is that since I’m MEGA PALE, every spot is absurdly visible.

My skin still isn’t brilliant, but what has helped me the most is going as natural as humanly possible with my skincare/haircare/makeup:
No Sulphates (the foaming agent in face washes, shampoo etc)
No Silicone at all, which is really hard because it’s in EVERYTHING!! I’ve managed it so that there’s only a silicone in my sunscreen and it’s near the bottom of the ingredients so that’s not too bad. I’ve found that since using more natural products I’ve managed to break the cycle of super oily followed by dry and flaky due to harsh acne treatments followed by super oily due to trying to get rid of the dry flakies!

I use:
-Good things stay clear face wash (boots)
-Lush tea tree toner
-REN ClearCalm3 day fluid (the REN ClearCalm3 mask is supposed to be an effing miracle worker and is next on my list)
-Origins peel pads (gritty exfoliators piss off my face)
-Boots Tea Tree Dual end Spot Stick
-Sudocrem!!! Amazing stuff, dries up spots and heals skin in double quick time!

I’ve been using Bourjois Bio Detox foundation because there’s no silicone in it and it’s….alright, but the staying power is a bit pants.

I would consider going on the pill/changing pills as it can make a big difference but I’d also demand to see a dermatologist. Get the doctors told – it’s your face and your health and YOU know what’s working and what isn’t so don’t let them tell you otherwise.

Hugs,
Danni
xxxx
Helen
November 29th, 2010 at 2:35 pm The thing that upsets me is that it isn’t a dirty secret. Or you shouldn’t be made to feel that way. SO many people have adult acne, as you can tell from the responses above. It’s hell, and horrid to have to deal with, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It breaks my heart to think of people sat at home crying because of how they look.

I have psoriasis which is pretty horrific as people don’t understand it. They think I’m contagious and I have been asked many times if I have leprosy. It makes it perfectly ok for people to glare at me on public transport, and to move away from me, and for the cleaners at work to moan about the large amount of skin I shed on a daily basis. Not to mention being asked to leave a public swimming pool as people complained about me. My husband has acute acne. Together, we are a dermatologist’s dream. In fact, it makes me not want to have children as God knows what kind of skin complaints the poor kid would have.

I can’t offer you diet or medical advice as there are so many people out thre more qualified than I. But I wanted to applaud you (gently as the cold weather makes the psoriasis on my hands flare up, haha) for having the nerve to post this. Thankyou x
geisharock
November 29th, 2010 at 2:40 pm this is going to be brief because i’m eager to read all the wonderful comments people have left but i am in my early 20s and still suffering from bad skin and acne. medication has improved the breakouts somewhat but i still have the blotchy, rough skin that no amount of make up can look easy breezy and beautiful like those girls you speak of who splash some water on and waltz out the door. my teenage years were plagued with weight and SERIOUS acne issues.

my dirty little secret is still being haunted by an off-hand comment that a guy in my class made to me when i was about 12. i had the hugest break out all over my face and smothered myself (amaturely.. had NOT got the hang of make up yet) with concealer that didnt match my skintone. i took 2 steps into the classroom and he went ‘whoa, what happened to you?!’ whilst staring at my face. i could have died. i think a little part of me did die. whew, never aired that story out in the open before!

i’m glad to now be confident and fairly comfortable/accepting of my skin and looks, but like you, i have days where nothing works and i just want to cry. i had one of them recently – my make up just didnt go right and i was snappy for the whole morning (only after many cups of tea did i calm down)! you’re not alone in this! thank god for make up is all i say one more thing – its taken me a while to convince myself that i see many more flaws than other people looking at me do. so just use the make up that works for you (although i’m still seeking my perfect foundation), hold your head up high and be your lovely self!

not so brief after all…

right, onto the comments!

xxx
Merdypops
November 29th, 2010 at 3:13 pm You know what I love about Skype? You dial into someone and you see them at their rawest. Bed head, glasses, acne. Everyone has that one thing that makes them human, and this is yours. Just makes me respect you more.

M
kerry @ mrs lister writes
November 29th, 2010 at 3:26 pm Have to agree with all the comments above re the pill altho if you don’t like taking aspirin I can imagine this would be a very last resort for you. I was on the pill for about 18 years and came off it recently to start trying for a baby – my skin if horrible now – spots on my back, chest and hairline that just won’t go anywhere. I can’t bloody wait to get back on the pill!
veganbonnie
November 29th, 2010 at 3:56 pm I had acne until I was 40. Two things helped: giving up dairy products. Getting accutane. Also, being 40! Though my acne is gone, on the inside I am scarred for life because of all the torment I went through when I suffered from it. I remember the totally disgusted looks from teachers and family who couldn’t bear to look at me. That stays with you for life. But so what. There are worse things I guess.
Modesty B
November 29th, 2010 at 4:34 pm You’re in Leeds right? The dermatology department at the LGI is held in very high regard. Whilst GPs might not take it seriously I can assure you the specialists there will. I used to do work with the department and I would highly recommend you push for a referral. In fact, I’ll see if I can find a number for the department so that you might be able to contact them yourself. Acne can be soul destroying and I’m so sorry you’ve not been taken seriously. I’ll go and hunt down that number…..
MB x
Carina
November 29th, 2010 at 4:38 pm My skin can be really problematic too, and seems to flare up whenever it feels like it. It has got a better recently after I stopped using moisturiser for oily/problematic skin. Sounds crazy, but I think most of my breakouts were down to the harsh things in these spot treatments (I’ve tried every brand going – from Asda to Clinque), and while they sorted out that spot, several would come back in it’s place.

I started using a ‘normal’ vitamin e moisturiser (from boots) and my skin really calmed down and looked less oily than when I used oil fighting creams and moisturisers. I also started using powder mineral foundation and this REALLY helps. Foundation and concealer do not help in the long run and it might with worth a go trying a richer moisturiser, as your breakouts could be down to dry skin.

Hope that helps, it helped me. Cx
Ha Ha Sound
November 29th, 2010 at 4:42 pm That’s your biggest dirty little secret? My, what an innocent little lamb you must be. But seriously, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Everybody has medical conditions and they just have to be dealt with. I was six feet tall and insanely skinny as a teenager. Most of my friends came up to my waist. It was like looking at a picture of a Jewish version of Michael Jackson.

xoxoxo
HHS
Sheenie
November 29th, 2010 at 4:44 pm Thanks for sharing, Bangs. It seems you’re not alone as even celebrities suffer with bad skin. Cameron Diaz and Katy Perry are two names which spring to mind and they are both stunners!

I didn’t get spots in my teens but as soon as I hit 18, I had a major attack which took about 10 years to cure. My mum nagged me to go to the doctor’s and I was put on antibiotics which didn’t work. Then I went to a dermatologist who gave me some kind of iodine solution to wash my face in and a top-up solution before I was back to the GP and put on the same antibiotics. Strangely enough they worked second time around, although my GP did suggest the pill if those failed. I also tried tea-tree oil and avoided abrasive face washes like Johnson & Johnson’s. It was suggested that my diet consisting of a lot of spicy food could be a contributor as well as exotic fruits but I hate having to give up food that I love.

I guess I was lucky my hormones stopped being a pain in the arse and I can now leave the house without any make-up but to think it took 10 years and affected the early part of my adult life, did knock my confidence. I think also stress is a contributor.

I know my situation is not the same as yours as you’re still dealing with it but I admire you for writing such a post. Just out of interest, do you tie your hair back when you go to sleep? That’s another thing I also tried as I thought the oils from my greasy hair might have been a cause…
Linda
November 29th, 2010 at 5:46 pm Don’t have any advice….
but want to give you an internet huggle- and tell you that you are a beautiful person.
x
Julie
November 29th, 2010 at 5:54 pm Honey! I certainly don’t remember you having bad skin when I knew you here in Toronto.

But with that said… mine was so bad when I was a teenager that I would cry all the time when my parents made me go to school. I’d wear t-shirts over bathing suits (for bacne), wear a ton of concealer that was obvious and brought more teasing upon myself. My parents even took me to camp (on a plane) and when I saw the shared cabin and realized people would see without make up I came right back home.

The following have helped me immensely and have given me a life of freedom. In the order they helped 1) Diane 35 – birth control pill known to help acne and 2) a dermatologist prescribed alcohol solution (with 2% clindam powder mixed in) that I put on my face before moisturizer and helps dry things out 3) all face products are non comedogenic (no oil) and lastly, have you heard of Zeno? It’s for cystic acne (heat treatment) give it a Google.

I feel your pain, I was a prisoner as a teenager due to acne! Xo
sarahs-scribbles
November 29th, 2010 at 6:05 pm Amazing post and so honest. I think so many peopel can sympathise with how you feel about your skin – I have been in the same position right the way through my teens and after spending probably the most miserable time of my life hiding away from the public because of it, it is something I have eventually come to terms with and try not to let it bother me. It’s so refreshing to someone write so honestly and heatfelt and putting an olive branch out there for alot of people that are in the same position and feel the same.

Amazing.

xxSxx
Lisa
November 29th, 2010 at 7:06 pm Google the symptoms of hypothyroidism and see if they sound like you – I suffered with intractable acne for years, then had my private doc do a blood workup for other symptoms, and I was slightly low in thyroid hormones – not frankly hypothyroid, but slightly low. We decided on a trial of thyroid replacement, and it cured my acne as well as the other problems!
Kerry
November 29th, 2010 at 7:59 pm Have you tried roaccutane? It’s probably the last resort as it’s pretty harsh but it worked for me! Good luckx
CupcakeLeeds
November 29th, 2010 at 8:51 pm Holy cow, cant read em all, so I may duplicate what others have said but u know I is nearly 30 too and since my early 20′s I’ve had acne and other lady problems(!) and was diagnosed with PCOS about 2 yrs ago. (I have even been to the skin hospital and had the top layer of my skin burned away with a soldering iron (prob wasnt but it looked like one) and it f*ckin killed!)
Anyway, since then Marvelon (contraceptive pill) has completely changed my skin (and lady problems!!) and my life.
I’ve read for hours n hours n hours on the subject and the only sensible conclusion I have come to is its all down to sugar/insulin/testosterone. Dont waste your money on creams lotions potions. Cut your sugar down as much as poss and see if that helps.
And go get checked for PCOS. (Not that it can be cured or owt).

Oooh, the conversations we’re gonna have in Paris eh!

x
Anon
November 29th, 2010 at 9:05 pm Thanks for posting… reading this on my way to work this morning (feeling very paranoid about a breakout I have at the moment) helped me feel less alone and has given me some pointers of what I can try.
SO FAR, SO CHIC
November 29th, 2010 at 9:30 pm Muireann you must INSIST on being referred to a dermatologist. Doctors are lazy and do not want to write letters – YOU MUST INSIST. I had to do this. Roaccutane was my absolute saviour. It’s very expensive for the NHS which means they don’t want you to have it and it has these scary-sounding side effects but most people are fine on it. I look at old pictures of myself from before I tried it and cannot believe my skin was ever that bad.
I’m still prone to the odd spot but I’ve found that the cleanser Cetaphil, plus taking B-complex supplements keeps me relatively clear-skinned. I completely sympathise with you and understand how confidence-destroying acne is, especially when you’re no longer a teenager and feel like everyone else has perfect skin. I wrote a post on my experiences a while ago – it explains a bit more about Roaccutane and how it worked for me. My comment at the end is an update: http://www.sofarsochic.co.uk/2010/04/not-hitting-spot.html

Don’t despair girl. You’ll find a solution that works for you. Now make that doctor’s appointment and do not leave without the promise of a referral. You should not have to be on antibiotics forever, and if you’re like me they don’t do anything for you anyway. Good luck, good luck, good luck. You have my email if you need me. Laura xx
The F$%k it List
November 29th, 2010 at 9:42 pm *HUGS* This was a great post, so honest. I was going to suggest Cetaphilbut I see So Far, So Chic has just done that. My SIL uses it on my niece for her eczema breakouts and it works wonder. You might also look at using baby products because they are typically more gentle and work against irritation.

I have never had any real bout with acne at all but I know that when I have gotten the occasional breakout from stress, oatmeal masks and daily cleansing with Dr. Brommer’s soap always helps. Good Luck, I hope you find something that works for you. Either way you are wonderful and beautiful!
gillian
November 29th, 2010 at 10:28 pm yes, you must get referred to a dermatologist. one of the commenters above has already mentioned this but leeds is one of the world centres of acne research (or it used to be, unfortunately not as much money is put into acne research anymore). the dermatologists at the LGI are very good. I did my PhD on acne in Leeds and our lab had close contacts with the LGI dermatology department.
Depending on the severity of your acne, they may prescribe you with Roaccutane, but it does have some pretty horrible side effects – it basically dries out your sebacous glands and mucous membranes. You can end up with really dry chapped lips, dry hair, dry skin etc. It can also cause depression. It is because of this drug (and others like it) that not as much money is put into acne, it is seen has having a ‘cure’ however it is not suitable for everyone and does not work in every case.

sorry, that was probably no help.

anyway, you should definitely insist on a referral to a dermatologist and take it from there.

good luck x
Emily
November 29th, 2010 at 10:45 pm Aw, this is so brave of you Bangs *massive hug*
I have the same problem. I’ll be 23 in January and since I was about 16 I’ve had acne. I get patches on my face (at the moment, my chin and the sides of my face) which get horrible outbrakes. Concealer is my best friend and my worst enemy. Like you, I wish I had perfect glowing skin but no matter what I try, it just doesn’t happen. I use Freederm all the time and sometimes it helps but not much.
I’m getting married in February and it’s killing me knowing that my skin’s gonna be so crap
I hope you can find something that helps you xoxo
Miss Alissa
November 29th, 2010 at 11:03 pm Ah I feel your pain lovely lady, I also have the same problem. Had a horribly messy break-up and the stress sent my skin haywire. The worst adult acne you can imagine at about 27. Big, ugly, angry lumps. Just looked so revolting to me.

Nothing worked, stress went but the acne didn’t. Lived with it for 4 years, until last year I changed my pill to Yasmin and it seems *holds breath* to be doing the trick…now I get breakouts when I’m run down or hormonal but just at ‘normal’ times, it has become occasional which just feels like a dream compared to what I had before.

I always kind of knew mine was about the hormones, and this pill has just balanced me out a little. Not sure if that’s a route you’d ever want to go down but it seems to be working for me. Mine was definitely something that needed balancing on the inside. I didn’t take Yasmin for my skin, I’d kind of given up on the dream of decent skin, it was just a lucky side-effect. Now just praying it doesn’t come back! I know just how hard it can be to live with, you have all my sympathy.

xx
Nicole
November 29th, 2010 at 11:22 pm Having had the good fortune to be in your presence on several occasions (and during warmer weather, if I recall), I guess I’d be one of those people that would not have guessed you had a skin issue. Seriously, I’m more than a little surprised that you were engaging in any sort of facial camouflage.

However, when you’ve dealt with something so personally agonizing for so long, it becomes second nature to hide it from the world. Girl, we’ve all got something. Good on you for bringing your struggle to light – the wealth of supportive responses and suggestions could help you as well as many others.
Judy
November 29th, 2010 at 11:28 pm Thanks for posting this – not just for the fact that few people bring it up this honestly but also because all these comments have things I am writing down! I’m not sure if acne is the right word for me but ever since I was a teen I have suffered with spots – not covered in them, but the few I would have were always the most angry looking bitch spots you’ve ever seen and would get noticed. Nowadays like some of the other commenters I still get them, and even worse I get marks left when they are gone. Without makeup my face is a mashmash of reds, dryness and pale skin so I just look like a spotty unhealthy mess!

I’ve had more than my fair share of skin problems this past year that I have had to see the doctor for and while she is lovely, it is so hard to get taken seriously. She sent me to a dermatologist who I thought was going to answer all my prayers but she said she’d only look at one part of my body (I have probs all over!) and sent me off with a ‘deal with it’ message. Needless to say I cried the whole way home.

Being a bit of a beauty follower but with the most sensitive skin known to man, I stick to unfragranced products such as Avene, which don’t irritate my skin (but don’t really help it either). I think stress is the biggest cause for me but like you what I really want is a dermatologist who will listen to me, help me and understand that it bloody sucks. Oh, and one that doesn’t cost a bomb would be great

Good luck, you’re by no means alone and thanks for sharing xxx
Jade
November 29th, 2010 at 11:31 pm My skin went crap-ish at 28, breakouts on my chin big time, started using Paula’s Choice BHA gel and it really helped. I can confidently go without makeup now, not saying I don’t still get the occasional blemish but it’s much much better than it was before
Claire Nelson
November 30th, 2010 at 8:57 am So glad you posted this – so many people go through similar pain and it’s really good to have it out there. I never did notice you had bad skin so was really surprised by this post, but as you know, I know someone who has also suffered the torturous medication and is still frustratingly suffering from spots aged 30.

A friend of mine in America had acne into her early 20s so she got laser treatment which apparently has cleared it up. I think it was a case of having her skin zapped, and she said it wasn’t painful. I’m not sure if this isn’t something you’ve already looked into (or even tried) but if not, maybe worth a look?

I am not going to pretend I get terrible skin for the sake of jumping on the comments bandwagon, but I do get that deep painful acne on my chin, (nodular acne I think it’s known as) which, when I break out, almost always turn into sores. If you see me with a scab on my chin that’s what’s going down. I can’t imagine dealing with this constantly so I feel for you, I do.

Great work on posting this though. And by the way, any tips on concealer ‘cos I can never make it work for me!

xxx
Claire Nelson
November 30th, 2010 at 9:06 am [PS Actually a lot of people here have recommended the pill, which I have also heard works wonders for acne. (Easiest hormone treatment out there, after all). I'm like you, and I hate taking medication but I've been on the pill for about a decade: it doesn't feel like taking antibiotics or the like. Like a couple of the others here I take Yasmin, but if you try the pill route, get one with the right balance for you. Different hormone doses work differently for different people so you may need to try a couple before you get one which doesn't have any side effects.]
Adele
November 30th, 2010 at 11:45 am I can identify. I had horrible skin in my teens but my consolation was to believe it would clear up once I hit my twenties. Of course, it didn’t. I tried everything and though I covered my blemishes carefully, I can still see them in my wedding photos. But now I realise that it must be something hormonal because I’m pregnant and this is the first time since I was eleven that my skin is kind of clear. So I’d say try the pill, I never did but if the problem’s connected to hormones, it makes sense. By the way, something else I’ve realised is that no one ever pays as much attention to your skin as you do – which is a relief!
Mamuje
November 30th, 2010 at 4:44 pm I have the worst acne in the history of mankind so I totally feel you on this….
Sadie
December 1st, 2010 at 12:03 am I have had a lot of skin problems since I was about 24 (I am now 34); adult onset cystic acne of the chin and now eczema/rosacea (ugh). I found, like you, not much I did made a difference (though stress and refined sugars made it far worse. Not even the pill worked (and I see several here have recommended it, it’s worth a try, but it doesn’t work for all of us).
About a year ago I got an IUD (engaged but not ready for kids yet!) and the cystic acne pretty much stopped; maybe an odd small spot, but nothing major. The other skin problems persist, and I take antibiotics and use incredibly gentle products for that. I have also learned that for my skin, less makeup is better. Going without is hard (especially if you’re feeling spotty), but it might be worth a try. Perhaps you are even reacting to ingredients in your makeup. Anyway, keep trying, and keep a “skin” diary so you can clearly see how any changes you have made affect your skin.
You might try to get your doctor to check your hormone levels;you could have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), a condition which can cause an excess of testosterone and lead to excess hair and acne (especially around the mouth and chin).

Good Luck Bangs!
beki
December 1st, 2010 at 2:10 am Some people have mentioned hormone treatments, and if you haven’t, I would look into that.
I feel your pain: my younger sister has had really bad psoriasis since she was 16 and it’s just horrible to see how it affects her self-esteem. She’s tried everything, and the only thing that works for her is spending half of each summer in Israel (she’s very lucky our Dad has the money and inclination to send her), baking on top of a roof by the Dead Sea.
It has been a real eye-opener seeing how she gets treated because of her blemishes, and how it affects every part of her life.
Hope things work out for you.
ChristenaJane
December 2nd, 2010 at 1:15 am MLD Therapy!!!!!!!!!!! Its a special, gentle circular massage that helps drain toxins from your cells. When I was planning my sponsored wedding I had someone sponsor me for my skin care. He approached me and I took him up on is offer. I saw him once or twice a week for about 2 months and my skin was BEAUTIFUL! I never had such great clear skin before. My skin tone evened out (which was great cuz i had super blotchy skin), I got rid of the little acne I had, my pores shrunk, my skin got softer and firmer (so wrinkles be gone)!! It was amazing!! I had never heard of such a therapy before! It was surprising how well it worked because its just soft circular face massages. Its used to treat all kinds of illness and problems. I would definitely check this out. Just make sure if you see someone they are Vodder trained/qualified. Some spas will say they do MLD but its not going to be the same treatment as someone who specializes in this method! Good Luck!!! I hope this helps some! xo
Sinéad Breslin
December 2nd, 2010 at 2:41 pm Someone mentioned it already, but Roaccutane really did the job for me. I suffered from acne from the age of 12 onwards, did the doctors thing, crap antibiotics, crap facial scrubs, you name it, I tried it. At 18 I put my foot down and demanded to be referred on to a dermatologist, who was horrified that my acne had been allowed to get so bad. She started me on Roaccutane and the pill (one counteracts the bad effects of another, or something), and after 18 months, acne: gone. It was the best thing that ever happened me, the confidence boost that it gave me was immense. Everything you described feeling about your skin, I felt exactly the same. Nobody should have to feel like that about themselves.
Perhaps you’ve already tried it, but if not, I would strongly recommend it. Three warnings though- it is expensive, it takes a while for the effects to kick in, and it is heavy duty stuff, they warn about mood swings and all sorts of horrible side effects, but I found this to be manageable. Oh, and if you do go on it, get a darn good moisturiser, that ish dries your skin out! Hope this helps! (I’m a newcomer to this blog, and thoroughly enjoying it so far!)
evie
December 5th, 2010 at 5:14 pm Thank you for posting this. I too am a secret acne sufferer. It arrived when I was 13 and quickly became all over, deforming, angry spots all over my face. I was put on the pill and antibiotics which initially cleared up the worst of it (which was so terrible I’ve thrown out all photos from that time) and I had ok but still occasionally spotty skin. Over the last 10 years I have been constantly been on n the pill and varying antibiotics plus prescription creams and gels. My skin never went back to the true ‘pizza face’ but was I was still pretty spotty and had very red and sensitive skin.
Anyway, this year on my 23rd birthday I decided enough was enough. I went to a new Doctor and I gave in and decided to go on roaccutane, a drug I had previously discounted because like you I wasn’t sure I was a severe enough candidate nd I had heard such bad things about the side effects.
Roaccutane is a strong medicine and some of the side effects sound pretty bad, but as someone who was constantly embarrassed of having acne and often got very down about it I decided to try it. My doctor was very good and I saw her every months, every month I had a blood test and basically if anything wasn’t right I would be taken off it. I had very dry lips but that was manageable, besides from that I didn’t suffer side effects.
I was only on roaccutane for 4 months as my doctor believed that it was better to see how I go without it rather than having a longer treatment for perhaps no reason.
So I’m now 3 months post treatment and my skin is fantastic. It is better than I ever thought it could be, i very occasionally get the odd little pimple but hardly ever. The redness that I suffered from has also disappeared. I finally feel like ‘one of those people’. Nowadays I hardly wear foundation because I’m so proud of my skin and I feel so free without my acne.
My only regret is nt having a doctor who helped me sooner because I could have avoided years of angst and unhappiness. I think so long as you have a doctor who will give you the attention you deserve to watch you carefully while you take your course and that you personally can be sensible on it and endure a few months of dryness you should be fine.
I really hope you consider it, I know I sound like an informercial but it really has changed my life.
Xxx

(ps. Sorry for the rambling typo ridden comment, I’m on my phone but really wanted to give my 2 cents and I’m terrible at typing on it!)
Amy Jayne
December 6th, 2010 at 4:00 pm Thanks for writing this. You’re definitely not alone. I stopped drinking milk and swithced to Soy which made a profound difference. I found Duac on prescription worked brilliantly for me, as it has meant I can where lighter makeup as heavy makeup makes my skin complaints worse. Good luck and I hope you find something which works for you. I also agree that fidnign the right doctor is important, all too many of them overlook the emotional toll feeling crappy about yourself takes xx
Jennifer Noelle
December 10th, 2010 at 1:40 am Welcome gorgeous, to the largest population on Earth : normal, hormonal women. I, too, at age 31, have adult acne. My older sister, age 41, still experiences adult acne. While we don’t have severe cases, it doesn’t matter because each blemish is… an obviously horrid blemish. There are many, often multiple reasons for breakouts. Diet, stress and hormones are the largest factors. Acne is different for every person, and many comments have had great recommendations.
With any diet modification – as with any skin regimen – allow 2 weeks for your body to purge toxins and then balance (recover).
Cut out (or limit) >dairy (full of sugar and cow hormones, & is an allergen), >sugar & processed foods, >refined white flour products.
My acne appears at the onset of PMS. One, two, a few blemishes, thanks, hormones! The product which I have found to help me the most: Neem Oil. I read about it as a chemical-free alternative for insect repellent. Yeah, truly! Turns out, it has antibacterial properties. Humans get acne because bacteria & dead skin cells invade our pores, but cant’t get out. Neem oil: helps the skin to push out the dirt/bacteria, which sometimes results in a whitehead, which can be purged or leaves in a few days. I apply neem oil (any brand works) directly to my clean face every morning and night. I’ve only begun this technique in the last 3 weeks. It hasn’t stopped the acne, but there has been less of it and they disappear quicker.
Other recommendations: facials! Every 3 months I have microdermabrasion. It’s soft (feels like a cat licking your face), quick and sloughs off dead skin cells, making acne & scars seem less red.
Exfoliate, but not too harshly!
Take zinc supplement. Once a week, any amount (15-50mg/day) taken after eating, before going to bed. It can upset an empty stomach.

You are beautiful! Look at your own photos as proof. We each are our own worst critic.
Corinne
December 11th, 2010 at 11:31 am I swear by St. Ives Apricot Scrub face wash. I use it once or twice a day and it helps keep my skin clear without drying it out too much. x
Marie
June 19th, 2011 at 8:20 pm Very brave post that I normally wouldn’t personally relate to as I luckily come from a family of women with beautiful skins. BUT my 34 year old son has suffered since adolescence from ‘acne’ and breakouts, at last diagnosed as Rosacea. He was prescribed those antibiotics and has been taking them on and off for years with mixed results. But recently he discovered that it could be dietary. At the same time we remembered a male friend who had similarly suffered until, aged about 40, he cut out all dairy and processed cured meats (salamis etc) which like us he enjoyed in France where we both had holiday homes. My poor son had been brought up on the same foods but is now eliminating them from his diet. Now, at the grand age of 60+ I have suddenly developed a mild case myself. Having taken HRT for many years I don’t think it’s hormone related. I use Lancome Hydra-Zen moisturiser and help from a concealer when necessary. I rarely eat dairy, never in drinks, but I love those cold meats! Maybe you could try some food eliminations and see? Good luck.
Dreed*Tea
July 13th, 2011 at 6:34 pm I have the same secret, and I can’t live without pure mineral makeup with MSM! And we ain’t talking that cheap chemical commercial brand! This is what I use and if I don’t use it all hell breaks out–> http://www.healthmiracles.net/is-your-mineral-makeup-as-pure-as-it-promises-this-one-is.html
Style Souk
July 29th, 2011 at 11:09 pm I’m hopelessly late to this, Bangs – and not certain if you’ll be able to read my message – but wanted to make a personal recommendation.

I had perfect skin as a teenager. I had perfect skin in my early twenties. And then – what the f*ck? – my skin went bat-shit crazy.
A subsequent diagnosis of PCOS helped to explain things, but it was only on finding the facialist Sophie Thorpe – through this piece in The Observer: http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2006/jun/11/fashion.beauty – that my reliance on industrial-sized vats of Laura Mercier concealer came to a happy end.

I hope this helps and good luck!
Kerry
February 17th, 2012 at 9:14 pm Roaccutance worked miracles for me. Definitely worth trying. And by the way, you look beautiful in your makeup free picture that you posted (later on I think).

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