Blaming the Blameless
Were you thinking that if you make a decision or do something that might not always have the glowing results you were hoping for that you have to take responsibility for it? Oh you idiot – don’t you know anything? Who were you raised by? Moral-having, do-gooding douchebags? Yeah, that’s what I thought. See, these days, passing the buck is the new black. Nothing needs to be your fault anymore. Just blame someone else. You can be as idiotic, uncaring and mindless as you’ve always wanted to be and none of the blame need land on your shoulders.
Take it from this guy - a former McDonald’s employee in Brazil who sued Ronald and Co for making him fat. He gained 65 pounds over the 12 years he worked there. And it was McDonald’s fault. They’ve had to pay him $17,500 because they forced his fat fingers full of fries into his mouth. It wasn’t the guy’s fault. Don’t be ridiculous. Do you think he actually had a choice? You think he could actually make a decision for himself to say, actually use a brain cell and realise McDonald’s grub might not be so healthy, then he could maybe say, decide to not eat that food and maybe opt for a healthier diet, or perhaps even work somewhere else if he felt his health was at risk. You insensitive twat. How very dare you! Do you feel nothing for this man’s suffering? He has every right to not take responsibility for his own actions. Blaming someone else is like so Autumn/Winter 10/11.
Or some woman from the Upper East Side in Manhattan who sued Starbucks for $3 million (and lost – bummer) after she spilled tea on herself and suffered serious burns. I mean, how was she to know that tea is, in fact, hot? Isn’t it Starbucks responsibility to sound an air horn and shake maracas in your face when you order a hot drink to draw attention to the fact that it’s you know, hot? No? Well, that’s what happens in my house – before anyone goes near a kettle or oven or even turns on the shower we ring sirens, let off fireworks and put on a full on light show, just so you know….hot things may occur. So I don’t know what sort of Mickey Mouse operation Starbucks are operating where all of these things don’t happen but more fool them. It’s a fail safe system.
So you see friends? Responsibility and accountability are things of the past. Blaming others and making them pay for what could possibly, maybe, I’m not pointing any fingers here, be your own goddamn stupid fault, is the way forward. You may never need to apologise again! Huzzah!
