Me, Myself and I
Being alone is something a lot of people find difficult. No, not being single, just being by yourself. Hanging out with you. It’s scary. I mean, once you take all the people away and it’s just you and your thoughts, you might discover that you’re boring or that you actually kinda suck.
I’m a very solitary person. I spend most of my time alone and I actually kind of love it. Sure, I love spending time with my family and friends, but I think it’s important for me to nurture myself as an awesome hang out buddy by just hanging out with myself.
Most people can muster the places where it’s acceptable to be alone. You might be able to master a quick coffee in a cafe by yourself. Bookshops, libraries – both perfectly acceptable places to hang solo. The gym, pumping some iron with your iPod on – no one bats an eyelid. Supermarket – no brainer.
But then we get into the sketchy territory, where you might start to feel a little awkward. Bars – well, it’s a little suspect to be drinking by yourself, eh? Restaurants – what? Like, to eat a whole meal? Alone? The movies – but, but, there’s all those couples there. Everyone will look at me!
Let me break something to you: nobody cares about your ass. I regularly dine at restaurants alone. Sure, I always get a funny look when I ask for a table for one and the other diners do look at you as if they’re expecting someone to show up, but who gives a crap? I will take my time, enjoy my food and I WILL have a dessert, damnit! I pretty much always go to the movies by myself. I feel no way about buying one ticket and getting a monster bucket of popcorn. It’s easier than trying to coordinate all my friends and convincing them to see whatever obscure foreign film I want to see that week.
It’s not that I dislike hanging out with people. I just like hanging out with me. I can do what I want, in my own sweet time with no expectations or limits. I spend a lot of time in my own head. Admittedly, it can be to my detriment. I went through a difficult period during the three years I lived in Toronto where I think it’s safe to say I struggled with depression. I cut myself off to the point where leaving the house and even answering the phone became extremely difficult. If I did make it out to see friends, I don’t think anyone ever knew how much I went through to actually get myself out of the house.
Now, it’s different. I’m at peace. I don’t understand people who must be surrounded by others all the time, suffice to say, they’re clearly not comfortable with themselves yet. Alone time is important. It’s not taboo and you’re not a sad loner if you choose to do things by yourself – the fact is, I’m pretty awesome company, so it just makes sense that I like to hang out with me.
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Tags: life lessons
