Dumb Or Dumber?
My hairdresser is becoming increasingly distressed about the fact that I’m single. He cannot fathom why. Unfortunately, as he’s been married 20 years or so and has a small army of children, he’s not an option – which is unfortunate, because his love of my hair alone is enough to make me interested. Last week, as he faffed with my hair (which is really all that happens during our appointments, as he only cuts a millimetre off), he tried to hash out some theories as to why I continue dine alone.
He came up with the ol’ chestnut that men must be intimidated by me. I’ve had people say this to me before, but I’ve never really understood what they mean. ‘Well, you’re a total package,’ he says. ‘You’re beautiful, intelligent, good job, keep yourself together – men might find all of that intimidating.’ (I should probably add here that I’m well aware that I pay him for a haircut and an ego boost). ‘If you were beautiful, but a bit dumb, that’s not as intimidating for men as they still feel like they still have one up on you. But, you’re got it all going on, so they really feel like they have to be on top of their game all the time.’
Le sigh. I didn’t necessarily take that to mean I should dumb it down to find a man (and I surely won’t be doing that), but it definitely got me thinking. I think my hairdresser might be right to a certain degree. I brought this up on Twitter over the weekend and it sparked quite the debate. Of course, all the men said no, that’s not true, they want someone who can challenge them intellectually, someone they can talk to. But then a couple said most men prefer dumb, pretty girls, one said ‘we say we can handle it, but the truth of the matter is we feel intimidated’ and one said ‘real men aren’t afraid of women with intelligence, but on the flip side, no one likes a know it all.’ So we should be clever, but not too clever?
I just don’t get it. Men supposedly want attractive women, who have their shit together, can hold a conversation and all that good stuff, yet a crap load of us are still single. And they complain that ‘a good woman is hard to find.’ What do you want? My address? I’m right here, you idiots! The same goes for us ladies, we complain about how hard it is to find a good fella. Legend has it, they do exist. I’m yet to meet one myself, but supposedly, they are out there.
In a bar a few weeks ago, a guy came up to me and started a conversation. He asked what I do. ‘I’m a writer, for magazines,’ I tell him. He looked at me for a moment and said ‘you’re a bit brainy, aren’t you?’ I had no idea how to respond to that. Cue awkward silence. I asked him what he did and he installed underfloor heating. I don’t know the first thing about that, just like apparently, he doesn’t know the first thing about stringing a sentence together on a piece of paper, but he made it pretty clear he was put off by it.
Personally, I think the reason I’m single is because a) I kinda like it b) I’m not really bothered and c) I’m not putting myself out there like that. Well, that and apparently a lot of guys find me incredibly off putting. But screw your ego, I’m not losing a few brain cells to get a date.
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Tags: dumb women, smart women, undecided men
