The Bitch Please Advice Column
Dear Bangs,
I’m getting married and I now face the inevitable dilemma of who to invite. Or, more accurately, who can I NOT invite?
There are a couple of friends whom I would rather not have there, not because they’re not great people but because they’re just not in my close circle, they don’t know anyone within my close circle, and I just can’t relax around them for too long. I think they count me as a close friend, but we hardly ever see each other. One of them got married a year ago and invited my fiance and I to the wedding – they also generously put us up in one of their comp hotel rooms! So how do I go about not inviting them, without hurting their feelings? I can’t tell them it’s “family only” as I will be inviting my (much closer) friends.
My fiance says I should just invite them to avoid feeling guilty, but I don’t want to invite people out of obligation – and it starts getting expensive then anyway. However I also don’t want to hurt my friends’ feelings. No one wants to be a bitchy bride. Help!
Bride To Be
————————–
Dear Bride to Be,
Well that’s quite the catch vingt-deux you’ve got going on there. Firstly, congrats on the wedding n’ all. Secondly, brace yourself, ’cause the advice you’re about to get is from a die hard singleton.
Here’s the thing with weddings – they’re big, they’re costly and someone, somewhere down the line is gonna have to do some shit they don’t wanna do (do you think your bridesmaids are thrilled about having to wear strapless gowns that have full skirts with netting? ‘Cause I’m telling you right now, they ain’t).
I used to be a travel agent (which I kinda sucked at, because on average, I want to sucker punch 1 in 3 people I come across in daily life, so am not really cut out for a customer service role) and my worst kind of clients were the ones booking destination weddings. For a kick off, I don’t think there’s anything tackier than a destination wedding, ever. And I also thought it was a damn cheek to book a holiday, which you essentially expect other people to pay for, then invite people – it’s basically like saying ‘would you like to come to my wedding? Yes? Great, here’s a bill for £1000!’ I thought these people were assholes. Then I realised the genius of it. Some people were booking destination weddings to price people out of actually attending. Have it somewhere exotic and most people can’t afford to go. Perfect! You’ve done your bit by inviting them, all that’s left for you to do is act woeful when they say they can’t make it (then switch to your Dr Evil laugh behind closed doors).
However, I’m assuming you haven’t gone down the destination wedding route so really, that little anecdote was completely pointless.
Lemme tell it like it is Bride to Be – you have no choice but to invite these people. You know why? Because you went to their wedding! That in itself doesn’t guarantee them getting an invite to yours, but you put the nail in your own coffin when you happily stayed in one of their comp hotel rooms. If you’re not all that close, why did you go to their wedding? Admit it, you couldn’t resist the hotel room and a bit of free food. No one’s mad at you for that – it’s the only reason I go to most formal events. But you can’t, after having accepted their hospitality (i.e run up their wedding bill), then suddenly decide that you’re not really all that close and you don’t want to invite them.
In short, that is terrible etiquette and really kinda rude.
Better get those invites in the mail – pronto.
Smooches,
Bangs
If you have a problem and need a little tell-it-like-it-is advice, email bangsandabun@gmail.com
———————————-
NOMINATE ME!
Cosmopolitan has launched its Blog Awards and I would be so grateful and honoured if you would take a moment to nominate Bangs and a Bun in the ‘Lifestyle’ category. It only takes a second and I will love you long time if you do.Click here and make my day. Thank you!
Related posts:
Tags: advice, bitch please
