The Bitch Please Advice Column

Dear Bangs,

My brother has this girlfriend that was ok to start with, but the longer they’ve been together the more I can see she’s a user. He does absolutely everything for her, which would be fine if she was a nice girl, but she isn’t. She does nothing to recipricate his actions and just takes, takes, takes.

It would be fine if that was it, i’d leave them to it, but he keeps inviting her out when we go out, telling me I should take her to places when I go on nights out with my friends, even to the point of suggesting I buy her stuff when I go shopping and he’ll reimburse me!!! (I’ve done none of these things I hasten to add)

My brother and I are pretty close so i’ve bitten my tongue so far, but I’m close to errupting!!

What should I do?

Sincerely,

Pissed Off Sister

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Dear Pissed Off Sister,

According to data gathered by myself, it is a statistical fact that sisters are right 99.7% of the time. That same data also suggests that brothers don’t know what they’re doing 62.8% of the time, make bad choices 47.9% of the time and are straight up idiots when it comes to girls 74.3% of the time. I have been told that this data is not wholly reliable, but it was my brother who said that and as we can see by the stats, that instantly vetoes his point of view.

Anyway, back to you. What can you do in this situation? Unfortunately, pretty much nothing. As much as it sounds like your brother is getting rolled over by a tractor trailer, covered in a steam roller, buried under a fork lift truck, it is his decision. If he’s not complaining, don’t go in there, guns blazing, talking about your beef. Nobody cares and that’s a soap opera waiting to happen.

As far as you taking her places when you’re out with friends, if you’re uncomfortable around her, don’t bother. You should make an effort to be pleasant , just for manners sake, but she ain’t your sister-in-law so it’s really not that serious. As for your bro suggesting you should buy her things, I should come round there and bitch slap him myself for that one. How about hell-to-the-no? It’s all well and good if your brother wants to treat her every now and then, but he needs to get a grip if he’s funding this girl’s entire existence without batting an eyelid.

If things come to a head, I suggest calmly explaining to your bruv that his girlfriend is just not your type of person and you don’t particularly like the way she treats him, as such, you’d rather not spend a lot of time with her. Explain that you’ll be pleasant, but you don’t plan on going above and beyond. That’s all you can do. Don’t harp on the subject, but you should definitely mention it. Sounds like your bro is wearing rose tinted glasses and doesn’t really get that he’s being rinsed dry.

Sadly, he’s gonna have to learn the hard way and come to that conclusion himself.

Smooches,

Bangs

xoxo

If you need some no nonsense advice, email bangsandabun@gmail.com

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