Comments on: Testing Limits

By: Sadie Marlowe

Sadie Marlowe — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 00:37:16 +0000

I don’t think the man should hit the woman, even if she was totally verbally and emotionally abusive. He should either call the police or leave. Hitting her isn’t going to help either party. Just my opinion.

By: Jade

Jade — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 00:16:05 +0000

I read this blog post and felt sort of sad, of course we should all treat each other with respect, I think domestic violence is disgusting in any form (against woman/man/child). I was a victim of DV myself, did I deserve it? No I wasn’t a cranky mean bitch, I was a door mat. My mother was also a victim of DV and having witnessed it as a child I could never imagine the same thing happening to me. I don’t know what else to say, women love and respect your man (if he’s a rotten bastard don’t rant and bitch at him constantly – JUST LEAVE)

By: Rachel

Rachel — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 22:59:58 +0000

I’m agreed that violence isn’t acceptable, men and women push each other to the limits and people do snap, but that doesn’t make violence acceptable. I have a bee in my bonnet on the whole subject so I shall stop there.

I can’t help but add:

Anon – You clearly aren’t a good writer – check your grammar before posting snidey comments. Or at least have the balls to say who you are! What gives you the right to question someone’s views? You don’t have to directly experience something to have views on it. Women don’t speak out because they’re frightened, alone and have had their self confidence shattered – not because of the opinions expressed in a blog. Oh and before you jump down my throat – I HAVE experienced it.

By: Anon

Anon — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 19:40:11 +0000

Miss Bangs and Bun….be honest….are you a woman hater??
all you seem to do is have little digs at women all the time??
Are you on a mission like Cosmopolitian magazine to make women feel crap about themselves??
Your posts always seemed to geared toward dissing, cussing or tearing women down one way or another. You never say anything nice EVER!
Domestic violence is a hefty issue and every situation is so different! It’s clear you have no personal experience of DV. It’s opinions like yours that stop women speaking out…Maybe speak to some women you have and get a better understanding and maybe abit of compassion. Violence against a man or a woman is NEVER acceptable or the answer to any relationship problem! Your such a great writer, it would be fantabulous to see you write something positive about women!

By: Bangs and a Bun

Bangs and a Bun — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:56:41 +0000

TYRONE – I think your reaction, faced with a woman like that, would be totally understandable. If she’s instigating, I’m not saying it’s right to hit her, I’m just saying, I won’t feel any sympathy for her if that’s what the guy chose to do in that situation.

BIG FASHIONISTA – Kudos to your man for keeping his cool. I don’t know how some men do it, honestly.

LOLLINGTONS – Definitely agree about the Australia case – it’s different if there’s been years of systematic abuse. But at the same time, I think there’s a double standard. If you reverse that Australia case and it was the woman who’d been abusing the man and one day he eventually snapped and did what she did, do you think he’d have been cleared of all charges? I doubt it.

JEN – Yup, totally agree with you there.

CLAIRE – I think that situation must be just awful for a man. It’s a travesty that we’re so stuck in our ideals of traditional gender roles that we can’t get our head around the fact that this stuff happens.

F$%K IT – Yeah, you’d think if they’d been on the receiving end of it at some point, they wouldn’t want to dish it out.

DR J – You’re right, it should be drilled into us as youngsters that it’s not OK to act that way.

HAHA – That sounds like a crazy situation – kudos to you for keeping your cool.

LADY KAYOS – Amen to the 10th power on that one.

By: Lady Kayos

Lady Kayos — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 19:47:44 +0000

I don’t condone a man hitting a woman at all. However, I’m not too keen on women thinking just because they are physically inferior, it’s alright to hit on a man. I’ve seen some situations where women have hit men and think just because they are women they won’t get hit back. I’m all for self-defense in both cases. If a woman thinks she can get out of her place and hit a man, then she should be prepared for what happens next if that man decides he isn’t gonna be as chivalrous as she expects him to be. Violence isn’t condoned by any means but there’s a line to draw. If a woman expects a man not to touch her then she should follow suit and not touch him.

By: Ha Ha Sound

Ha Ha Sound — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 17:05:52 +0000

I have to agree with the above commenters. For a man to hit a woman is never, ever OK. If you’re a guy in a relationship with a nagging, hen-pecking woman, just break up with her. Or force her to go to couples therapy. But hitting her is never cool.

I was actually once on line to use the bathroom at a Chelsea bar, and there was a couple in there having really, really loudly sex. The woman waiting behind me kicked the door, and when the couple came out, the female half of it socked me in the face. Surprisingly hard. She was hammered and could barely even walk, and my first instinct was to belt her back just in the way you might immediately have that reaction to anybody who hits you, but of course I didn’t. I just checked myself, did nothing (OK, I might’ve yelled “fuck you” or something like that), and the guy mumbled an apology and grabbed his partner and walked off.

By: Dr. J

Dr. J — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 16:41:04 +0000

I think everyone should keep their hands off other people. Period. With that said, can I think of a circumstance when a man can hit a woman? Not in a relationship setting, he can just leave. There are situations in which a man must protect himself by blocking or restraining a woman, but that’s as far as it goes.

I think women who instigate or incite men are evil. I have never dealt with one of these women and I stay away from them under any circumstance.

Wait… wait wait… I have to tell you this, growing up with about 30 cousins and we all grew up from birth to 13 around each other, boys and girls fight all the time. I think that both sides should learn at this point why men and women shouldn’t be fighting. I remember one time, my cousin swung a swing at the back of my head while I wasn’t looking. I waited about two weeks and when she was standing on the monkey bars, I pushed the ish out of her. We had an understanding after she had a knot on her head and I had a gash on mine. (We were like maybe 8/9.)

By: The F$%k it List

The F$%k it List — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:26:55 +0000

I don’t think it’s the notion that a man should never hit a woman that allows women you’v described to carry on like this. Some of those very women have been on the other side of the domestic abuse and now prey on men that are considered “good guys”. I don’t think that violence on any part is necessary.

By: Claire

Claire — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 15:25:28 +0000

I knew a guy who worked with my ex, in a particularly macho industry. His long-term girlfriend was angry and abusive, and it was soon discovered that she beat him up. He denied it, but another friend of his soon found out and everyone became aware. He was mortified, but I think completely relieved when people didn’t laugh. She was bigger than him, and he didn’t feel he could defend himself because men are not supposed to hit women. I don’t think anyone should hit anyone, although if it came to self-defense, then it doesn’t matter who it is, defend yourself to the necessary extent.

It frustrates me when people assume domestic violence is always a case of men beating women. Men might be renowned for their strength and testosterone, but women can just as equally be fuelled with emotional repression and hormones as men. Both sexes are equally capable of being aggressive – and being a victim.

The saddest truth of all is that men find it very difficult to say to someone, “my girlfriend hits me”. That’s really sad.