Parenting 101
I don’t have kids and generally tend to stay away from anyone under the age of 18 on account of how annoying they are, but I’ll tell you this much – sometimes there are pretty clear signs that someone isn’t suited for parenting. Sure, we can pull up the easy examples of those parents who have drug addictions or are abusive, but it goes without saying that perhaps they should’ve opted out of the procreation process. But what about parents who let their kids do ridiculous things like, attempt to sail around the world, solo, at age 15? If they give out ‘Parenting of the Year’ awards, they need to bypass those mofos.
This 15 year old girl, Abby Sutherland, from California recently attempted to do just that and surprise, surprise, failed. Little Abby’s boat got battered and she ended up floundering around in the ocean somewhere between Africa and Australia for a while, while a crap load of air and sea search parties looked for her. Who in their right mind would be OK with letting their kid do this? I tell you who – someone who doesn’t like their kid very much. Looking for an easy way to get your offspring out of your life? Oh sure honey, of course you can sail solo around the world – here’s a sat nav, get going!
Then it turns out that the girl was trying to beat her brother, who set a record by doing it at 17 apparently. That is sibling rivalry gone mad. Can’t you just be normal kids and have a game of one-on-one football? The first one to five goals wins? No, no – you have to get a yacht, learn how to sail, then take that bad boy around the world and set records. Bitch please! Ever heard of attainable goals? Let me give you some: A 200 metre sprint – fastest person wins, eating contests, who can have their music louder – these are the kinds of competitions teenagers need to be involved in.
There’s too much pressure on these kids. How was this girl OK with doing that? I was 16 the first time I travelled alone and I had a panic attack on the way to the airport. And I was only going to my grandma’s house in rural Nova Scotia, Canada, not drifting in the open water of a giant ocean with a failed navigational system. How that chick didn’t go bat shit crazy is beyond me. But if we don’t hear of a case out of California of a girl wanting to divorce her parents some time soon, I’ll be very surprised.
Parents, if you don’t like your kids very much, there’s plenty of ways you can let that be known without sending them out in a dingy to tour the world. I’m all for setting goals and making sure your kids are driven – but that’s just ridiculous. Worry not though, the kid will get her revenge when you’re old and grey and you’re expecting her to take care of you – she won’t think twice about unplugging your life support. Didn’t think that through, did ya?
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Tags: overachievers, parenting
