Anyone for Tennis?
If you live in a country other than America, the past week or so of your life has most likely been consumed by football. (America, that’s actual football, not what you call football which is a bunch of burly dudes in padding and lycra whose feet never actually even go near a ball). I don’t know about you, but I, for one, welcome any sort of relief from football hooliganism, St George’s flags, those goddamn vuvuzelas (and our crappy England team). And relief is upon us my friends, in the form of Wimbledon.
Let’s just take a moment to applaud a classier sport. There’ll be no blowing of loud obnoxious horns. Just regular clapping and the occasional ‘woot!’ Strawberries and cream, people sitting on the hill by Wimbledon watching it on the big screen – it’s all very civilised.
I’ll be honest, I’m not really all that into a lot of sports. I like watching boxing (topless men beating the crap out of each other, what’s not to love?), those Ultimate Fighter contests (semi-naked men grappling and wrestling – what’s not to love?), basketball (tall men in shorts, what’s not to love?) – I think you get the gist of what I’m looking for in a sport. But tennis, I do genuinely admire the skill of. When it’s played well, it’s really quite beautiful. But of course, a girl’s gotta stay interested, so may I present to you, exhibit A and B of tennis hotness:
Woosah!
Oh yeah, Mr Roddick and Mr Nadal can keep a girl interested alright.
I’m sad to say, ladies tennis doesn’t excite me quite as much, mainly because it’s annoying as hell. I read someone that while the male tennis players on the circuit all get on and there’s a good deal of camaraderie, surprise surprise, it’s supposedly a complete bitchfest amongst the female players. Oh ladies, why can’t we just all get along?! Talk about playing up to stereotypes. It’s all a little embarrassing.
I want to support women’s tennis, of course I do, but it all comes off a bit ‘she just pulled my hair in the changing rooms before we came out here.’ I hate it when the press focus more on what female players are wearing than how they’re playing, but who can blame them? It seems too many of the players are more concerned about that than they’re game themselves. I swear if Venus shows up wearing anything even remotely similar to her French Open outfit of choice, I quit being a spectator of this shambles altogether.
Seriously though, why was she dressed like a $2 hooker?
And then there’s the grunting. Jesus Christ, the grunting! My God. Highly irritating and not in the least bit attractive. Remember when that guy rushed on the court and stabbed Monica Seles in the back of the neck? It might have been to stop her making that God awful noise.
So, I’ll just take the men’s game, thanks. None of the ‘who’s wearing what’ (though whenever Wimbledon decide to bring in that ‘No T Shirts’ rule for men, it will get my full backing) and not quite so much grunting. Let’s just hope that someone other than that smarmy Federer wins this year.
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Tags: Andy Roddick, rafa nadal, tennis, venus williams, wimbledon
