The Bitch Please Advice Column
Dear Bangs,
I’m 21 and just finishing up my degree. I’ve been up North at uni for the past three years and want to move down to London when I’m done. I’m from a small town, so even moving to a large-ish city to go to uni was a big step. But I feel like I’ve grown a lot and want to go experience the big city.
The only problem is, my boyfriend doesn’t want to come. He likes it up here and has never really had any desire to live in London. I really love him and feel like he should support my wishes and at least come with me to try it out. If he doesn’t like it, fair enough, maybe we’re just destined for different things or whatever. But it hurts my feelings that he’s dismissing what I want so easily. He’s just finishing his degree too and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of opportunities for him in the Big Smoke.
How can I persuade him to come with me?
Sincerely,
Wannabe Big City Girl
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Dear Wannabe Big City Girl,
I’m assuming you know how the Bitch Please Advice Column works and read my site for my uncanny ability to just tell it like it is, yes? Well, with that in mind….Bitch please!
You cannot be serious. You’re 21. Twenty one! For the love of God, get a grip. Take a step back for a second and hopefully, you’ll realise how stupid basing any sort of life decision around a man ever, but especially at your age, actually is.
So if he doesn’t want to go, you’re not going to go, is that it? You’ll stay with him and not follow your own plan of action? That’s a great life. You’ll waste away the next few months resenting him before it all falls to bits and you move to London anyway. But what if you’re not that lucky and it doesn’t fall apart after a few months? What if you’re stuck in this relationship resenting him for years? Do you really want to chance it?
I’m telling you right now, if you don’t follow your own desires and make this move, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. If he doesn’t wanna go, screw him! And hell, while I’m on this whole brutal honesty thing, you might want to look at him not wanting to go with you for what it really is. Your time at university is up and he, quite simply, doesn’t want to be with you anymore. Sounds like, in his eyes anyway, the relationship has run its course.
You’re not married. If you’re living with him, you’re doing entirely too much already. Women of all ages make this same mistake – investing too much too soon in a relationship. Sure you may be in love and all that, but you will be again too. At 21, I’m not really sure why you’re in such a rush to embed this guy into your life.
You saying if he comes with you and doesn’t like it, that’s fine. Come off it love, we both know that’s bollocks. If he went with you, decided after a couple of months that he didn’t like it and left, you’d be crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and yanking on his pant leg as he bolted for the door.
Do yourself a favour and keep your dignity in tact by not begging this guy to do something he clearly has no desire to do. If you’re meant to be together, you’ll work it out one way or another. But right now, this is a time in your life where you should be focusing on yourself and your goals. Trust me, once you move to London and get into the groove of your new life, this guy will be a distant memory.
Go forth and prosper young grasshopper!
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