The Clinger
There’s a certain kind of girl I can’t stand. I can’t be in her presence for longer than 10 minutes without wanting to sucker punch her. I see her mouth moving when she talks and in my head, I’m just screaming ‘SHUT UP!’ repeatedly. It’s the ‘boyfriend girl’.
Lil Miss Low Self Esteem cannot and will not hold a conversation with you without ensuring she drops the word ‘boyfriend’ in roughly every 34 seconds. ‘Oh really? My boyfriend says that all the time!’ ‘Well, I was meant to be meeting up with my boyfriend but…’ ‘My boyfriend doesn’t like it when I straighten my hair’. Listen lady, how about you take a little dose of ‘shut the hell up’ and get out of my face? We get it, you have a boyfriend. You’re getting laid. Merry Christmas.
Nothing is sadder to me than a girl who bases her entire personal happiness on what’s going on in her relationship. If her boyfriend decided to have a night out with the boys, she does nothing but whinge about it to her friends. Personally, if she’s as annoying with her boyfriend as she is when she’s relating all these petty stories to her girlfriends, I’m totally on the boyfriend’s side. I’d rather shoot myself in the face than listen to that crap. Every Facebook and Twitter update is a minute by minute breakdown of when they’re seeing their boyfriend again/how they’re pissed because they haven’t seen him/how they wish they could see him/how they miss him – give me strength! Get a frikkin’ personality and life of your own for Christ’s sake! That way you might find you’re not bored out of your brains half your life waiting for your boyfriend to return your 7000 missed calls.
When you question these girls, they’ve usually been with their significant other for about three months. Bitch please! There’s nothing significant about anyone in my life until at least the six month mark. And even then, we’re pushing it. Honestly, if you’re placing that kind of importance on your interaction with someone you really haven’t known or been intimate with for that long, you need your head checked. But first, please do sell me a ticket so I can enjoy the show when your relationship crashes and burns. That’s always oodles of fun to watch.
I cannot stress enough how you shouldn’t be Facebooking and Tweeting about your relationship. It’s sad that these girls don’t know how pathetic and needy this all makes them look. Most of the girls I see doing it, I wish I could just say ‘listen, I barely know you and I’ve never met your fella, but I can tell you, he’s not into you.’ It’s really frikkin’ obvious. So obvious in fact, it makes me wonder if these girls are reading their own Tweets. If they did, they’d surely see they’re in a bit of a non-starter situation.
But sadly, they need a guy to validate them, so when this guy dumps them, they’ll move right on to dropping their new boyfriend’s every thought and movement into every conversation. It’s a sad state of affairs.
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Tags: clingy girls, desperation
