Clogged Up
I saw a newspaper headline the other day that said ‘How to Wear Clogs’ – surely the answer to that would be to not wear them at all? But alas no, apparently clogs are making a comeback now. *sighs* *rubs temples* Is there nothing, NOTHING that we won’t attempt to ‘bring back.’ When clogs went away, they were just ready to give it all up. The retired, maybe bought a nice little condo down in Florida and have been happily playing bingo for years now. Leave clogs alone! Let them live their life!
Alright, fine, since you’re going to back me into a corner, I’ll admit, I did once own a pair of clogs. It was during my hippy/grunge phase in the early 90s. They were red suede. They were acceptable for two reasons; a) because it was the early 90s b) because I was 12. But if you were to see me trying to pull off those clodhoppers today, I would turn my cheek to you myself, making it easier for you to bitch slap me.
But you may be surprised to hear, I’m not actually completely opposed to the return of clogs. Why? Because I see them as a stepping stone…for people who wear Crocs. Perhaps this is one way we can help those idiots to transition into real footwear. It’s all about baby steps. Clogs are kind of a more professional, grown up looking Croc. This could be just the tool we need to help them progress. From Crocs to Clogs, Clogs to a comfortable flat, comfortable flat to a kitten heel, kitten heel to a court shoe, court to a [ring the alarm] STILETTO. See? There’s a method to my madness people.
While yes, Clogs are certainly not very attractive, they are indeed a step up from Crocs. I could handle seeing some of our more fashion-imparied amigos clomping around in Clogs for a while if it meant them not seeing a huge piece of rubber swiss cheese as appropriate footwear. Sometimes we have to endure a little bad to get to the good.
We have a couple of months to prepare ourselves. It’ll be spring before these bad boys burst onto the scene. Let’s all brace ourselves for the loud sound of wood, clogs falling off (stockings are terribly slippy on the wooden insoles of a clog. Accidents can and will happen) and random beatings by clog. But we can get through this together. Remember, if the end result is the end of Crocs, the Clog is a movement we must all get behind.
Related posts:
Tags: bad footwear, crocs, shoes
) I still have 3 weeks to send these puppies back…
