Face it, It’s Here
Well, season’s greetings bitches!
There’s no point in being in denial about it. Christmas is in your face harder than Scarface’s coke shipment. Deal with it.
It doesn’t even ease in now. As soon as November hits, the Christmas commercials start. It’s always the furniture stores that roll out their TV ads first. A yuletide jingle playing in the background as they talk about 0% finance on a three seater sofa that you would rather ram up the sales guy’s ass. What kind of present is a three piece furniture set anyway? It’s not like I can wrap it. File it under stupid gift ideas.
As I’m tucking in to my breakfast the other morning, chatting to my parents, all of a sudden I tell everyone to shut up as I zone in on what’s being played on the radio. ‘Is that motherbitchin’ Silent Night?’ I ask. ‘It’s a hymn!’ says my mother. ‘Listen, Sister Mary Francis,’ I say. ‘I don’t care for that distinction.’ Christmas music, which is the most evil of all musical forms, hymnal or otherwise, should not be allowed before December 1st.
At least in the States they have Thanksgiving in November to ward off the influx of all things Christmassy too soon. Here, soon as the kids are done trick or treating, they roll out the fairy lights and santa costumes.
Then cue the ‘how not to put on too much weight over Christmas’ articles and the TV morning show debates about how the meaning of Christmas has been lost. And don’t forget every Tom, Dick and Harry telling you to make a hamper or something for the homeless.
Last year, I got on this kick that I was going to make presents. I spent a year making my parents this:
and frankly, I think I peaked too soon. How am I ever meant to top that? Also, considering the big day is a few weeks away and I haven’t even sewed up a hole in my socks, it’s unlikely that they’ll be getting some hand made gift of wonder from me. So that means now I have to shop. When am I meant to fit that in? Between work and blogging and…you know, work and…blogging – there’s just no time.
As you can tell, I am full of the joys of Christmas. The thing is, I genuinely do love this time of year. And that’s because I love my family and the traditions we have. *cue soppy music* But if we could just put a cease and desist on the shenanigans until December 1st, that would really work out better for me.
