The Male Ego – A Cautionary Tale
‘You were third string,’ he tells me. ‘Sometimes as far down as five or six. You’d never be a starter.’
This was in an email I got from my ex, right after he told me he’s been married for 13 years and has two kids.
Yeah. Bit of a bombshell.
Here’s the stats: We met in Japan, became involved, nothing serious. I left Japan, we stayed in touch, gradually, it became something more. He’s in the US navy and was stationed in Virginia when I was in Toronto. With long distance, lines get blurred. But for the most part, I got what I wanted, which was basically some attention without the added nuisance of having a man around. He flew me down to Philadephia last year (where he’s from) to spend the weekend, but when it came to him coming to see me, something always came up. The excuses were always so plausible. You know how it goes. I was an idiot is what it boils down to. We broke up earlier this year but remained on good terms.
A slight disagreement over email this past weekend led to him fessing up. We’ve known each other four years. I guess having a wife and children just slipped his mind. I can’t say I was that shocked. I’ve hardly dated the greatest calibre of men and so sadly, have come to expect such baffoonery.
I’m not even particularly offended by his ‘third string’ comment. I’m more baffled by it. Between work, his wife, kids, the gym, making sure he got his daily phone call in to me, I honestly just don’t get how you could fit any more ass into the equation.
And that’s what I never understand about men who cheat. How do they find the time or energy to engage in this bullshit? The male ego knows no bounds. It’s all about how many women they can weave into their web. ‘A hole is a goal’ to these douchebags, as my friend put it.
But we’re told we have to give people the benefit of the doubt, right? We’re meant to trust people until they give you a reason not to. Well, I likely won’t be playing that game again.
My father is the only stand up guy I’ve known in my life. He and my mum have been married 32 years and his whole life has been about his family. He’s never spent a night away from us. Like all daughters, my dad is the prototype of what I look for in a man. But my dad is a different generation. My generation is full of fucktards who will lie to whoever about whatever to get laid. It’s a sad state of affairs.
So, I respectfully bow out. All that ‘there are some good ones around!’ is completely lost on me. If so, where are they? The magical land of fucking Narnia?
I’m going with plan B: having a gay man as my life partner. I have far more in common with gay men anyway. Life would be good. We’d watch musicals all day, he’d dress me, all our friends would be interior decorators or fashion PRs and he’d be able to cook his ass off. And that, my friends, is what I call a relationship!
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Tags: douchebags
