The Crazy Train
The urban jungle provides many moments of entertainment.
My morning commute is usually pretty dull. The only excitement I get is from the playlists I make every day, seeing if I can musically one up myself on my twenty minute journey. Somehow, I always manage it. You can find me plugged in, zoning out to whatever is blasting through my earphones, maybe reading a book at the same time and generally ignoring everything and everyone around me.
The other day though, some unexpected excitement came along. The Whispers had just come on my playlist and I was congratulating myself for such a stellar choice in sound when all of a sudden I could hear a kerfuffle. My first thought was, I should probably get some new earphones, I shouldn’t be able to hear shit, outside of the musical stylings of The Whispers. I looked up and saw everyone around me looking down the train carriage. I took my earphones out and heard some crazy screaming going on. Real, bloody curdling screams.
For a moment, horrible things flashed through my brain, like what if this woman was being assaulted or some dude was trying to rape her. I leaned forward and cautiously took a look at what everyone else was gaping at. I saw a woman, shouting at the top of her lungs at two girls who were standing near the doors.
“Get the FUCK away from meeeeeee!! Don’t you speak English bitch?!! Get your fucking hands off me! Get away from me!!!” She was screaming this over and over. “Get the fuck out of my face!” Everyone around me looked confused. And so they should have been. No one was in this woman’s face, except for maybe her imaginary friends. The two girls she was shouting at were looking increasingly uneasy.
See, here’s the thing: Canadians are so damn reserved that when they do actually lose their shit, I take a ridiculous amount of pleasure in it. It takes balls to be crazy in Canada, so I kind of applaud it. I just sit back and watch the show. Sure, it’s a little awkward watching someone who is clearly a sandwich short of a picnic, but it’s funny seeing peoples reactions to it.
Unfortunately, this was all going down just a couple of minutes before my stop. She had some powerhouse lungs and kept up her screaming non stop. When the train finally pulled into the platform, the girls she had been shouting at hightailed it down the platform and into another carriage. People were practically saying ‘run like the wind!’ as they dashed away from her.
Crazy lady was not deterred though. She got off the train and just stood on the platform to continue her nonsensical ramblings. I could still hear her when I was almost all the way out of the station. That high pitched, crazy wailing may never leave me.
If only these moments happened more often in Toronto to spice things up a bit. who knows, one of these days in the near future, I just may be the one doing the screaming for your entertainment. Feel free to sit back, enjoy and even make donations if you feel so inclined.
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Tags: crazy bitches, toronto, trains
