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One thing that has gotten under my skin over recent years is those people who dress up and pose as statues in the street. I’m not sure if it’s a fear, per say, but they freak me. The. Hell. Out. I find it baffling, befuddling, if you will, that anyone would want to do this. 

Am I missing something? Is there a larger point being made here? Because surely, you’re just trying to prove you can stand still for prolonged periods of time. Whoop-de-frikkin-do, my friend. When I see people crowding around these ‘street performers’, I don’t think I’m wrong in assuming they’re just waiting it out until this fool scratches his crotch or something. 

What do these people say when they’re asked what they do for a living? ‘I dress up as a cowboy, spray paint myself silver and stand still.’ Watch tumbleweeds blow through the room after you make that statement. 

One day, when I lived in New York, I got on the subway at Grand Central to go over to Times Square. In the station, I saw some dude dressed as a businessman, spray painted gold, standing on a box, frozen in position. As I walked past, he did some robotic move in my direction. Ugh. I hate it when they do that. I resisted the urge to scream like a baby and ducked into the train.

The train sat there for a while. Next thing I know, Mr Statue gets on, like he’s a normal person now, and sits across from me. He pulls a sandwich out of his briefcase and starts chowing down. 

I was in complete disbelief. You can’t just get on a train like a regular person when you made a choice to spray paint yourself gold that morning. Mind you, this is New York, I told myself, you can pretty much do anything. After a couple of minutes watching him eat his sandwich and check his cell phone, I had to move seats. He was freaking me out too much. 

The train moves and pulls into Times Square. Statue man gets off and goes to his next spot in the station to set up shop, only to find some dude, dressed as some sort of Charlie Chaplin character, spray painted silver, standing still on a box. Gold businessman statue is outraged that Charlie Chaplin statue has taken up residence in this hotspot. He argues with him, but without words, just exaggerated gestures of anger. Meanwhile, Charlie Chaplin doesn’t flinch (obviously, he’s trying to get paid up in this mutha). So it just turns into some sort of bizarre statue ‘still off’. 

It is probably the most surreal thing I’ve ever witnessed. 

So, call it what you will; ‘street art’, ‘street performance,’ I’m gonna go ahead and call it ‘freakish things people can do with too much time on their hands and a can of spray paint.’ 

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Tip of the day - each day, I’ll put up a tip, some designed to make you think, some to make you laugh and some will just be straight up stupid. I ain’t no guru. Some of these will be things I try to do in my own life and some will be reminders to me of how I want to live my life. Either way, your input is always appreciated. Let me know what you think.