Public Service Announcement
If you have to deal with someone in customer service today – please play nice.
As someone who currently has the misfortune of being on the front lines of dealing with the general public, let me tell you, the general public can kiss my Irish ass.
I am trying to hold it together here, long enough to keep a roof over my head and until someone discovers my genius, but I am one bitch slap away from this thing coming crashing down around me.
I truly don’t care what is going on in your day, how much shit the universe has chosen to heap on you, nowhere in the manual of life does it say it’s OK for you to dump your shit on me by default, just because I happen to be in your presence at the time.
I have dealt with more abuse in this job than I have at any point in my life (and I once worked in a call centre, so that should tell you something). I had a client who, after much back and forth with me, decided to take her rude ass, excuse me, business, elsewhere. She then called me to let me know that she’d done that and told me to ‘go fuck yourself, you fucking piece of shit’. To which I replied ‘OK thank you. You too,’ and hung up. And all of this for a sale that would have made me exactly $2.30. Pardon me for not giving a crap sweetheart.
Last week, I had a client who had asked me to call her back about something. I did, her phone rang more than ten times, no voicemail. The next day when I went into work, I was greeted by a scathing one minute and forty second long voicemail from her berating me for not calling her back. I am rude, disrespectful (and a bunch of other choice adjectives) according to her. The venom she spat in this voicemail left my coworkers jaws on the floor. One minute and forty seconds people. I called back and (when her answer machine finally came on after about 20 rings) left her a message in the exact tone of voice that she had for me. Screw that ‘customer’s always right’ shit. Sometimes the customer is bat shit crazy and needs to be put in their place. You better recognise! The next day, she came in, spent a crap load of money with me and couldn’t praise me highly enough. So, I concluded that she’s clearly bipolar and was off her meds. Hopefully, she has since upped her dosage.
I get abuse from all angles – in person, by phone and email. The trifecta of insanity. The common sense-o-metre seems to have been shut off in a great many people. When you rant and rave about your dissatisfaction with whatever your beef du jour is, you must be mistaking me with someone who gives a shit. Sometimes people even do the preemptive complain – nothing’s even gone wrong yet! Can you save your bitching until it’s actually legitimate? I’m fully aware that you will bitch me out when the time’s right, but when you’re whining about shit that hasn’t even happened yet, I really just stop listening and I’m making up a whole conversation in my head (and criticising your outfit).
So I’m warning you people, seriously, buttons are being pushed. The gloves are about to come all the way off. Hence forth, I will not be giving as good as I get, I will be giving better. And this tongue is razor sharp amigo. You don’t want to be on the receiving end of a lashing. I have officially entered my ‘I don’t give a crap’ zone and there’s no turning back. You have been warned. Do not test me.
Lucky I have a killer smile or I could come off as a real bitch.
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Tags: customer service or lack thereof, public service announcement
