Back on The Block
Friday night, I went to see New Kids on the Block. Don’t hate, bitches, don’t hate.
As I’ve mentioned before, the New Kids were the very first concert I went to when I was 9. When I heard they’d reformed and were coming to the T Dot, I knew I had to get a slice of that action.
What made this trip down memory lane even more exciting was that I was going with Nads. Nads and I lived together in Tokyo, then she buggered off to Australia for two years and just moved back to Canada a few weeks ago. The New Kids would mark our official reunion.
For the past few weeks, we had been engaging in a countdown to our childhood dreams come true. There was some debate as to whether we should go to the concert dressed in costume as our nine year old selves. I declined, on account of the fact that a) I was a hot mess when I was nine and b) I still held onto hope that Jordan Knight would pluck me out of the crowd, take me backstage and procreate with me.
We got to the arena and it was packed with chicks equally as pathetic as me. It was reassuring. In front of us, a woman, who looked about 40, had brought her husband and eight year old son. I wonder what they did to deserve that. The kid could not have been less interested. He sat playing games on his dad’s blackberry all night.
We had to sit through Natasha Beddingfield as the support act. By the time she got around to singing that theme tune from The Hills, I was ready to give her a round house kick to the neck. (By the way Natasha, you’re in desperate need of a stylist – call me).
Finally, the lights went down and the stadium erupted. A large screen came on above the stage and text sparked up across it. ‘Fifteen years ago…they walked away,” it said. “But now…they’re back…Are you ready…for The Block?”
“Oh my God, ” said Nads. “I’m about to lose my shit.”
“Lose my shit? I have no shit!” I confess.
And then, when the New Kids/grown ass men came on stage, Nads and I proceeded to scream like pre-teens. And I don’t mean the occasional ‘woop woop’. I’m talking full on, using-all-the-air-in-your-lungs screams. Nads, who hadn’t been allowed to attend the concert back in the day, lost all control of her senses. She jumped up and down, screamed and I think at one point, I saw her cry, but I can’t be sure.
Was the concert cheesy? You’re damn right – it was New Kids on the Block bitches! It was the biggest slice of cheese I’ve ever digested, but it was amazing. The songs were all accompanied by the old dance moves from the videos. Jordan had a solo section involving a wind machine and an open white shirt billowing in the breeze. Yes, hardcore cheese, but did I still want to hurl myself on stage and have my way with him? You’re damn straight I did.
They belted out the classics for two hours. Not much has changed. My love for Jordan remains strong, though I’ve decided Donnie can be my piece on the side.
When all was sung and danced, Nads and I were exhausted from our epic pre-teen scream fest. We were kind of lost for words about how ape shit crazy we went and made a silent promise not to speak of our shameful lust for The Block. That is, until I wrote about it here, of course.
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Tags: nads, new kids on the block
