Teen Dreams
Question: Is it wrong that I want to drop kick Miley Cyrus in the face?
Who is this kid and where the frik did she come from? It seems I can’t turn around these days without seeing her creepy face freaking me out on the cover of some magazine. Then there’s her Disney TV show, where she’s not only the annoying Miley Cyrus, but apparently has an alter-even-more-annoying-ego, Hannah Montana. Should we be encouraging teens to have split personalities? I guess the upshot is, we’ll get to see her on mind-altering medications at some point. Good times.
All these teens with superstar status are irritating the living crap out of me. They get interviewed by TV and magazines where they always talk about ‘staying humble.’ Bitch please! When I was a kid, I was only a superstar on my block where I had two friends (plus an imaginary one, but we won’t go there) and I was anything but humble. And as you can see, these days, I’ve got humility coming out my ass. I can only imagine what these prissy little bitches are like.
Then there’s The Jonas Brothers – the object of every girl between the ages of six and sixteen’s affection. And even Miley Cyrus and one of those other Disney bitches have been dating one, two or all of them – who can even keep track? And more importantly, how do I even know that? How has this nonsense infiltrated my brain?
They also all seem to love to profess how they will remain virgins till they marry – even The Jonas Brothers. I think one of them is still underage, but for the other two, fellas, you could be pimpin’ so hardcore right now. These are the best years of your life. And to the girls saying they’ll stay virgins – lest we forget a lil someone by the name of Britney Spears. See how well that whole ‘I’m a virgin’ thing worked out for her? I say, change tack as soon as possible. I mean, at least wait till you’re legal, but after that – what the hell are you waiting for? Let me tell you, once you’re in your twenties, it’s all downhill. That dream man you think you’re waiting for? He doesn’t exist. It’s just a bunch of gay dudes and a few scraps that got snapped up by those bitches you couldn’t stand in high school. The rest are social retards who don’t know how to use a phone or tie their shoelaces, or fellas who lead double lives and have a wife and four kids that you never knew about, tucked away in Idaho or some shit. What’s that? A little harsh? Yeah whatever. Wait till your 16 year old ass is 23 and see how well things are working out for you.
If it’s this bad now, heaven help me in the lead up to Christmas where I won’t be able to escape Hannah Montana branded merchandise up the wazoo. But all this over-exposure is bound to take its toll eventually. I see a crystal meth addiction in her future.
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Tags: those peksy kids
