Costume Drama
There are times in life when you can’t keep up with the demands of your wardrobe. You find all of a sudden, you don’t have anything to wear to that interview. Then, if you actually get the job, you’re cursing the day you ever sent them your resume, because you have to invest in umpteen new outfits to look the part.
Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind, as I did this past weekend on my trip to Nova Scotia. I don’t own suitable ‘country and cottage’ attire, so yes, I show up completely overdressed every time. It’s a running joke in my family, but you know, you can take the girl out of the city and all that.
Though, nothing has changed the horizon of the pressures of wardrobe upkeep more than my love-to-hate obsession – Facebook.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve gone to take a picture recently and heard one of my girls say “wait! wait! I’m already wearing this outfit in my Facebook pics!’ My response is usually something along the lines of ‘Listen, this ain’t Broadway, bitch. There’s no time for a costume change. Just shut up and vogue so I can take a snapshot already.’
Honestly, the whole notion of not allowing yourself to be pictured in the same outfit twice is beyond ridiculous. Do you think they’re gonna end up in Us Weekly or something? It’s Facebook. The only people who’ll see it is your friends and I know this may be a crushing blow to your belief that the world intensely watches your every move, but I would like you to consider the following points:
a) most people couldn’t give a flying crap what you’re wearing.
b) your friends are probably aware that you wear your clothes more than once.
So, in an effort to get the ball rolling on that road to acceptance, I bring you, my wardrobe confessions:
- I spend a stupid amount of money on clothes. I love my clothes like they’re my family. You best believe I’m wearing that shit more than once and I don’t care if Mario Testino himself has a camera pointed my way.
- I don’t own property or furniture or have any savings. My clothes are my investments. I will be fly till I die, bitches!
- I wear my clothes so much that when they’re threadbare, they are merely relegated to ‘house clothes’ and eventually make it all the way down the food chain to ‘dish cloth’.
- If I go off an outfit, I donate it to goodwill and feel all warm and fuzzy inside that I just made someone less fortunate than myself the flyest bitch on her block.
So, next time you get caught in a repeat outfit bind, it’s important to remember, no one is assuming you haven’t laundered said clothes. And if it concerns you that much, get creative and accessorize that shit. Either way, hold your head up, vogue and Work. It. Out.
