Big Thumb
Tramping the streets of Tokyo had made my favorite black stilettos a little worse for wear. Armed with my shoes and no knowledge of the Japanese language, I hit the streets to find a cobbler.
My first port of call was the train station. Anywhere else in the world, somewhere around a train station you’ll find a little man in his eighties, wearing an apron, stinking of shoe polish and looking like he just spent the last 50 years cobbling his own hands. Not in Japan. I asked in a couple of stores selling hideous handbags and stuffed toys. When I say ‘asked’, it was more of a game of charades. I took the shoes out of my bag, pointed to the trodden down heel, mimed cobbling and made random inexplicable noises. The bemused shop assistants rambled on at me in Japanese, with me not understanding a word, but doing my very best ‘smile and nod’. I imagine they were saying something along the lines of; “You idiot, can’t you see we sell stuffed toys? Take your beat down shoes and go find someone who gives a crap.” (Though I was hoping they were throwing in compliments about the footwear).
The second store I went to, I pulled my same routine with the woman in charge. After some frantic head shaking, she said “Big Thumb”, in English, several times. Seeing the bewilderment on my face, she repeated “Big Thumb” a few more times, while pointing at her thumb and then pointing outside. I thought the woman had lost her mind. She seemed to have average sized thumbs, so this entire exchange was making no sense to me. Nevertheless, I did my polite smile and nod and left the store.
I walked outside into an increasingly dark and chilly night and just when I was on the verge of abandoning the whole mission, I looked across the street to see bright lights and a sign; “Big Thumb.” Suddenly, I felt optimistic, as I bounded across the street and flung open the door. But the optimism was killed when I looked around and realized I was in a pet store. I knew my Japanese skills were abysmal, but I thought my charades were pretty much on point. How could you mistake me pointing at my well-worn heel for me wanting to buy a dog? Furthermore, why would a pet store even be called Big Thumb? Do animals even have thumbs? So many questions, so little time.
I made the bold choice to fight on. I did my charades act with a young man who worked there who shook his head and blatantly laughed in my face. Rightly so, I think, at this point.
I wondered around the shop for a while, taking in the good deals on dog food and fish tanks. I found another shop assistant and showed her my shoes. She spoke for a while in Japanese while I stared at her blankly. She then took me to another staff member, who I’m assuming she thought would have some answers, but they were tied up (with someone who actually wanted to buy a pet). The first staff member and myself shared a few uncomfortable moments of silence. Minutes passed. A third staff member walked by and the first assistant grabbed him for his advice. They had a good three-minute conversation (it was hard to tell if it was even about the shoes at this point), while I stood there feeling more and more foolish. Employee One handed Employee Three my shoe and continued talking (Employee Two was on the verge of making a big sale. I believe it was a Maltese).
I was now becoming increasingly frustrated, as it was abundantly clear I was on a road to nowhere with this mission. Just when I thought things couldn’t get more bizarre than me trying to get my shoes cobbled in a pet store, out of nowhere, Employee Three started stroking my shoe. I looked on in horror as he carried on a seemingly normal conversation while gently caressing my stiletto. Given that an hour had passed since I began this doomed cobbling mission, I had reached my wits end.
Unsure what the etiquette would be in such a situation and afraid I might offend someone, I figured enough bowing could get me out of it. I politely interrupted their conversation and pried my shoe from the hands of the offending molester. Bowing repeatedly and backing away slowly, I left the store more confused than ever and resolved to just wear flat shoes for the foreseeable future.
