The Confessional
Even though I’m going through a crisis of faith right now, I had some things I had to get off my chest, so decided to go to confession.
Me: Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been….well, it’s been a really frikkin’ long time since my last confession.
Father McBangs: Please don’t curse.
Me: Oops. My bad. So, can I just jump right into this?
Father McBangs: Yes, my child. What would you like to confess?
Me: Well, I gotta tell ya Father, it’s pretty bad. I…I…I like Phil Collins.
Father McBangs: [silence]
Me: Yo, Father, you there?
Father McBangs: Are we talking ‘Genesis’ Phil Collins or the solo Phil Collins?
Me: Solo, of course.
Father McBangs: Good, ‘cause no amount of repenting can forgive ‘I Can’t Dance.’
Me: I hear ya homie.
Father McBangs: So, how long has this been going on?
Me: I’d say roughly a year. I’m completely overcome with the power of Sussudio. I don’t know how it happened. I’d obviously heard the song many times before, but one day, I heard it on the radio in the car and my foot started tapping uncontrollably. That night, under cover of darkness, I downloaded it from Limewire, wait – will I have to do extra penance for illegal downloading?
Father McBangs: I’ll try to overlook it.
Me: Good looking out. So anyway, since then, I listen to it all the time, but only on my iPod, with my headphones on, because I don’t want anyone else to know. But recently, I just don’t want to hide it anymore. I mean, I listen to the song and like Phil says, ‘it feels so good, if you just say the word…Sussudio.’ Try it Father.
Father McBangs: No
Me: Go on, say it.
Father McBangs: Absolutely not.
Me: Just say the word!
Father McBangs: Su, Su, Sussudio!
Me: See?
Father McBangs: You’re right. That does feel good.
Me: And now it’s progressed to other songs. ‘In the Air’ and ‘Easy Lover’ in particular, move me.
Father McBangs: Are you an Easy Lover?
Me: I don’t see what my loving habits have to do with any of this.
Father McBangs: You’re in a church.
Me: Bygones. Can we just stay on topic here? So what should I do? It’s getting hard to keep this under wraps. I’ve started humming along really loud when Phil plays on my iPod. I think people might be onto me.
Father McBangs: Well, things could be worse. You could be a fan of Akon. So, I’ll talk this over with the Big Man but I don’t see why I couldn’t talk it down to 10 Hail Marys and an Our Father for you. So, in the name of the Father, the Son and…
Me: Yeah, yeah. Cheers, Big Ears. Peace out. Sussudio!
Shame on you, Guardian
Oh boy, did the shit ever hit the fan over at The Guardian last week. On their website, they decided to give a travel blog to a 19 year old kid about to embark on his first big adventure to India, of all places, It’s so cliché it hurts. Read the kid’s first article here.
Now, to those of you unfamiliar with the British media system, let me explain a few things: 19 years olds getting their own columns in, what is probably, the best national newspaper in the country, NEVER happens! This is England: home of cynicism, the school of hard knocks, the creator of ‘working your way up the ladder’. You are basically expected to work for free, making the tea and doing the editors dry cleaning till you’re roughly, 35. Then, they might pay you marginally more than a Chinese sweatshop worker.
But getting your own column, at 19, to document a trip that thousands before you have made? Not bloody likely.
You’ve got to love British readers. They could smell the shit a mile off. The kid’s article got over 940,000 comments, most of them bashing him and the editors for printing such tripe. (Personally, I couldn’t even finish reading the article, I was cringing so much.)
All the backlash prompted the editor to write this post the following day, justifying his hiring choices.
I don’t care what they say. Either this kid is related to an editor, or he’s blowing one. Plain and simple.
(Thanks Tam, for the heads up!)
Dear Readers,
I’ve been at this blogging thing a couple of months now. There are a whole lot of people stopping by here to read everyday and I’m feeling the love, my babies, I am. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. This is really a learning process for me and I want this blog to be the best it can be – so if you’re reading this, please be sure to leave comments. Let me know what you like, dislike, what you want to see more of, less of, things you’d like to know my opinion on etc. I want to know that I’m taking this in the right direction and I really appreciate your feedback. And seriously, if you are stopping by here to read regularly, I can’t thank you enough. With that said, get commenting!
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Tags: akon, confessions, phil collings, the brits, the guardian
