The Secret's Out
Earlier this year when there was all that hype over ‘The Secret’, I had to see what all the fuss was about.
I got my hands on a copy and flipped through the pages excitedly. Even the cover art made it seem as though I had stumbled upon some ancient treasure. Several pages in and they were still building the suspense. I was starting to get bored. Then it finally told me the Secret; Thoughts Become Things. Hmm. That’s it? Thoughts become things?
I decided to give it a chance and kept reading. I started to feel empowered. I can create my own reality through my thoughts. The Laws of Attraction. Like attracts like. It all seemed so simple. Just put the positive vibes out there and it all falls into place. The universe aligns and you can get anything you want. It even goes so far as to say that the universe is ‘an inexhaustible storehouse of goodies from which you can command whatever you desire from the comfort of your own living room by following three simple steps; Ask, Believe, Receive.’ Wow. I better put my orders in ASAP.
Empowered by all the positive thinking, I threw that boomerang of good vibes out there and waited for it to come gliding back to me. When it finally came back, it clobbered me over the head as my boyfriend dumped me and I was laid off my job. Hmm, I’m pretty sure that’s not how that whole ‘like attracts like’ thing was meant to work. Someone, somewhere fucked with my good vibrations!
I referred back to the book and according to all the ‘philosophers’ in there, I asked for this. They say if I just keep sending my positive thoughts out into the universe, they’ll come back to me in due time. Well, can the universe hurry the hell up? My rent’s due!
I can appreciate the concept of The Secret, but have a couple of gripes. First off, considering how many copies the book sold, it’s not a ‘secret’ anymore. I don’t feel like I’m part of a privileged inner circle and when my girlfriends told me secrets in the playground, they were a damn site more exciting than “The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence’. So many people have read this book that the number of shiny, happy, eternally optimistic people walking around is bound to get really annoying. And if like truly attracts like, then that must apply to everything, right? So, the victims of rape, displacement and genocide in Darfur, are they asking for that? I think not.
Well, here’s my ‘Secret’; sometimes the universe wants to take a dump and it’s just your turn to be the toilet. C’est la vie. Life is full of hills and valleys. Sometimes we’ll be optimistic; sometimes we’ll lose faith and be pessimists. And no matter how many positive vibes I put out there, Brad will probably never leave Angelina for me. So, while I wait in vain for the Jolie-Pitts to as least consider a trial separation, I think I’ll just take the rough with the smooth as usual. My mother always told me it’s not good to keep secrets anyway.
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Tags: bollocks, karma, positive thinking, The Secret
