Homeless and Hostile
Homeless people are starting to piss me off.
Before I go any further, let me just say – I identify with the plight of the homeless. A few months ago, I was earning $10 an hour (ahh, the glamorous world of Fashion PR) working three days a week. Meanwhile my rent was $600, so by the time I’ve paid my phone bill and bought food – well, you do the math. Basically, I was one long distance phone call away from a cardboard box myself. So, I really do feel for the cause. I believe that it’s society’s problem and all that jazz. But I’m starting to resent the sense of entitlement some homeless people seem to have adopted.
Once – during my above-mentioned period of near homelessness – some guy approached me giving me his ‘I just need some change to help get into a hostel’ story. I took out my wallet and had about $2.37 on me. I emptied it all out and gave it to him. Every last cent. And you know what he did? Looked at me, sucked his teeth and stormed off. Cheeky bastard. I felt like asking for a refund.
Now I see the same homeless guys every day, standing in the same places, with their hand out. Hanging on the corner jingling a change cup does not make me want to part with my moolah. I need a little more bang for my homeless donation buck.
I work six days a week, for shitty money and if I’m going to part with any of that hard earned shitty money, I want some entertainment, a little conversation, maybe an explanation of your circumstances. What exactly am I donating money to – your fund for a hostel or your crack habit? Because the answer to that question would greatly influence my donating decision.
There’s one guy, in his late twenties who wheels a shopping cart of who-knows-what around. He’s pretty clean cut and not dressed too shabbily either. He has signs stuck to his cart saying; “Raising money for lobotomy to understand women” and “I’m a pirate. Give me money or walk the plank.”
Ummm, how about no?
Clearly he’s still eating well enough to have a sense of humor. As Chris Rock says; real homeless people are too hungry to be funny. And unless that lobotomy will stop him being a complete dick, I’d say it’s a waste of money anyway.
Canadian homeless folk are the lamest I’ve come across. In New York – the hobos work hard for your money. They’ll entertain you. Talent and/or paranoid delusions are always worth parting with a couple of bucks.
In London, there used to be a guy (someone tell me he’s still there, please!) who was in a wheelchair. He parked up outside one of the department stores and just blew into a tin whistle all day. He couldn’t play an actual tune, so it was just the one note, but you had to love this guy. If anyone could go for the sympathy vote, I’d say it’d be the legless war vet (he left the stumps exposed so you knew he wasn’t bullshitting). But no, he wanted to give the people of Oxford Street a little sumthin’ sumthin’ for their money. He may not have had legs, but he sure had some balls.
It’s a cruel world. You can’t get something for nothing. Even the lack of a permanent residence doesn’t count for much these days. So, I appeal to you, Homeless People of Canada (or, you know, people who know Homeless People of Canada and can relay the message, because I doubt they have computers and internet connections) – step your game up!
I’ll give my money to someone in need when I can. I’m just saying they could show a little more appreciation. Just because I have a roof over my head doesn’t mean I’m filthy rich. It’s not your God given right to have complete strangers give you money for doing nothing – so don’t act pissed when they don’t.
I see the hoards walk by homeless folk and not even bat an eyelid. If I were in that position, I think being ignored and treated like I don’t even exist would make me feel worse than not having a home. So I make sure to acknowledge, smile, exchange a word or two and when I do have change to spare, I happily give it.
But is it too much to ask for a rousing Broadway tap dance routine in return?
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Tags: douchebags, homeless, money matters
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